Muldoon

Love him or loathe him, the late Sir Robert Muldoon was a pretty sharp character.

I don’t know why, but yesterday a couple of anecdotes from the seventies about Muldoon floated past the Adolfian consciousness.   The first was fact and the second was ribald fiction.

First:-

Trump is not the first national leader to give it to the dils in the media.

Muldoon was due to do a live interview from Wellington with the nationally transmitted Mike Willisee Show on Channel Nine in Australia.  When the time for the live cross (verbal, not visual) came, it turned out Mike Willisee himself was ill so a stand in interviewer was found.  He happened to be a New Zealander.

The stand in kicked off proceedings by reminding the great man he had inteerviewed him in NZ a few years earlier and, during the interview, Muldoon had called him an idiot.

Muldoon:-  “Errrrr what’s your name again?”

Stand in:–   “Joe Bloggs”

Muldoon:-   “Oh yes, now I remember you.  You were an idiot then and you still are.”

Upon which Muldoon hung up.

Great stuff!  Televised live all over Australia.

Second:-

Muldoon and Thea were out do dinner one evening in Paris.   Muldoon ordered turtle soup and Thea ordered French Onion.   After a twenty five minute delay Muldoon beckoned the garcon to complain.  The garcon fetched the Maitre de who explained that there was some difficulty with the turtle soup.  It had to be fresh and therefore the unfortunate turtle had to be slaughtered immediately before the soup was made.  This turtle was proving recalcitrant and would not stick it’s head out to be chopped off.

Thea smiled sweetly and said to the Maitre de;-

“Bring the turtle here and place it on the table in front of me.  You stand here with your chopper ready for it to stick it’s head out.”

She placed her left hand firmly on the carapace to steady it and rammed her right thumb up the turtle’s bum.  The head shot out and the chopper chopped.

“Mon Dieu! Madam!’ said the astounded Maitre de.  “Where did you learn to do that?”

“Oh, I have to do it every morning so that my husband can get his tie on”