No Minister

Normal Service Has Resumed

God, not even before Christmas Day has ended.

Oh well. This is a political blog after all.

But hopefully some of you will enjoy this variation (there have been many) on a famous American poem about Christmas, A Visit from St. Nicholas (1823). It has been parodied many times.

The poem has been called “arguably the best-known verses ever written by an American” and is largely responsible for some of the conceptions of Santa Claus from the mid-nineteenth century to today. It has had a massive effect on the history of Christmas gift-giving. Before the poem gained wide popularity, American ideas had varied considerably about Saint Nicholas and other Christmastide visitors.

So here we go.

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the land,
not a creature was stirring, for all things were banned.
Opponents were hung on the wide web with care,
in hopes that conformity soon would be theirs.

The children were nestled behind glowing screens,
While visions of childhood danced in their dreams.
And mamma in her ‘kerchief and I in my mask,
Had just settled in from a glum shopping task.

Then out in the lawn, there arose such a clatter,
I flung open the door to see what was the matter.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a little old man, in full hazmat gear.

He stuttered and yawned and tried so to hide it,
I knew in a moment it must be Joe Biden.
More rapid than eagles, his toadies they came,
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name;

“Now Comey, now Brennan, McCabe and uh, Clapper,
On Schiff and on Struck, on Pelosi and Schumer.
We’ll steal this election and tear down that wall,
Then cash away, bash away, dash away all.”

“There’s no Christmas this year, only virus and fear,
We’ll all wear our masks; from each other steer clear.
Till every last monument tumbles and falls,
Then Kamala can be the dear leader of all.”

“With freedom in ruins, our plans are completed,
Now the rest of our communist friends can be seated.”
Then he stumbled and mumbled as he ducked out of sight,
“Happy Earth day to all, and bring on the long night.”

Written by Tom Hunter

December 25, 2020 at 10:10 pm

Posted in Humour, US Politics, USA

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