No Minister

Jacinda takes on the tough questions – Nowhere.

I pirated this from todays General Debate over at Kiwiblog – penned by

  • Jacinda Ardern goes to a primary school to talk to the kids to get a little PR. After her talk she offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and Jacinda asks him his name.“Colin,” responds the little boy.“And what is your question, Colin?”“I have 3 questions. First, why does New Zealand not support its’ partners asking hard questions of China? Second, why are you distancing yourself from the Mental Health Report? And third, how come only one third of the promised Covid 19 vaccines have been administered?”Just then, the bell rings for recess. Jacinda Ardern informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.
  • When they resume Jacinda says, “OK, where were we? Oh, that’s right question time. Who has a question?” Another little boy puts up his hand. Jacinda points him out and asks him his name.“Graham! ,” he responds.“And what is your question, Graham?”“I have 5 questions. First, why does New Zealand not support its’ partners asking hard questions of China? Second, why are you distancing yourself from the Mental Health Report? And third, how come only one third of the promised Covid 19 vaccines have been administered? Fourth, why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early? And fifth, what the heck happened to Colin?”

Too good not to be shared.

Written by pdm1946

April 8, 2021 at 8:38 am

Posted in New Zealand

4 Responses

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  1. PDM Great humour and so true on so many levels.

    Of course this would never have happened in the current NZ education system. Colin would have been shut down by the woke teachers.
    He certainly wouldn’t have known where China is.
    Trade and its role in the growth of NZ and the world would be a total unknown as they dont teach business
    As for mental health that used to have its own buildings and trained dedicated staff but crusaders like Wayne Mapp ended all that, so Jacinda could have deflected it by referring it to her good friend Wayne.
    As most of NZ cant do basic maths I suspect if she had told them 10 an hour then it would have gone over their heads.



    April 8, 2021 at 9:11 am

  2. And I thought Colin was enjoying his twenty seventh year in year eight!


    April 8, 2021 at 11:52 am

    • Its the certificates of participation that keep bringing him back each year and he gets to play Netball with the girls.

      Plus he’s special needs but Wayne wrote a letter to the Minister and had Colin’s specially trained teachers based in purpose built buildings abolished,and now hes just stuck with all the other kids.

      Wayne’s proud of that too


      April 8, 2021 at 5:43 pm

  3. You might well ask how Colin got to ask such a sophisticated array of questions to the part time, lazy PM.

    Well Colin had an accident one morning 10 years ago while preparing his hot milk for his breakfast of champions. He accidently bumped the channel selector on his parents radio and the dial moved to the Mike Hosking Breakfast show, from Morning Report.

    Colin was enchanted ever since. The minute his die hard labour supporter parents left for work in the morning Colin shifted the dial and before going to school moved it back. (As a side note when his parents were asked why they voted Labour they stated their parents had.. so why change.)

    Mike was a revelation that appealed to Colin’s on the spectrum personality. Every morning he mimicked Mike, repeating the hard questions that Mike asked, and on his walk to school repeated them silently to himself. Somewhere deep in his soul he knew the part time lazy PM was a phoney.

    On that fateful day Colin was unaware that the Labour Party’s prime piece of crap had accompanied the PM. Trevor had acted on instinct when he heard the question, smacking the bell with his hand, which he considered was a piece of tactical brilliance.

    Worse was to follow for as Colin left the classroom Trevor grabbed him by the left ear and frogged marched him along the corridor, outside, past the bike shed and into the caretakers office.

    “Look here you little shit” (which was strange as Colin was a lot taller than Trevor, although that wasn’t hard as most people were both physically taller than Trevor and also mentally, and beside Trevor was a well known little shit himself)” I’ve had enough of your smart arsed question. Stay here for a week and dont come out otherwise I’m going to tell teacher I caught you playing with yourself”.

    One week later Colin was found by his parents after an intensive search huddled in the caretakes office, a babbling mental and physical wreck.

    In a twist of irony his parents tried to get him a mental health bed in the local hospital but none was available because the most caring Govt ever had fucked up…again.

    On the the bright side Colin received $330,000 in compensation and his own radio permanently tuned to the Mike Hosking Breakfast show when it was conclusively proved that he didnt have a penis to play with and that Trevor had lied, …again!

    Colin has since left school and is now gainfully employed, you guessed it , as a sub editor on the Mike Hosking Breakfast show where he dreams up hard questions in anticipation of the part time, phoney, lazy PM returning to the show.


    April 8, 2021 at 10:13 pm

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