No Minister

Incentivized Collaborative Policing

with 3 comments

Tomorrow at 10.00 AM, the PM, the Police Minister and, for added weight, the Local Government Minister have scheduled a press conference at the Auckland War Memorial to announce measures to deal with gun violence in Auckland.

Among other things, a new policy of ‘incentivized collaborative policing’ will be announced, whereby senior police officers will meet with gang leaders to ensure their respective gangs receive sufficient weapons and ammunition to effectively continue their campaigns against each other.

In recognition of Maori tradition, a $10,000 government bonus will be paid to each gang member who knocks over one of the enemy. Police officers will monitor the battleground and will verify each kill.

At the end of the prescribed three month period, Ms Mahuta will declare a winner. The surviving members of the losing gang will be rounded up and sent off for Labour Party Activist training.

The winners will have the Auckland drug market, along with all the guns, to themselves.

Written by adolffinkensen

May 26, 2022 at 4:17 pm

Posted in New Zealand

Tagged with ,

3 Responses

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  1. Heh, you had me going for a moment…


    May 26, 2022 at 4:31 pm

  2. At least it’s a plan.


    May 26, 2022 at 6:23 pm

  3. Many a true word said in jest.

    Adolf where your plan is astray there is never any action before 6 announcements of announcements have been made. Your plan will therefore be in force on 1 April 2023 – morning only.


    May 26, 2022 at 9:00 pm

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