Mrs Maverick and I at sudden short notice were invited to visit Vietnam about 3 weeks ago. Not on our bucket list but as our inviter would not be there for much longer we cashed in the kids inheritance, calculated that I kept working to age 95 we could afford it.

Maverick has certain travel agent skills that appear to have been inherited from ancestors 5 or 6 generations ago who decided New Zealand was the place to be rather than Nova Scotia or the west cost of Ireland.

In the blink of an eye I had found the best airfare deal that seemed reasonable and didn’t involve visiting 3 cities in China over a 40 hour period, but was tempted by the $1200 fare. Qantas and Air Vietnam came together to get us to Saigon, or Ho Chi Mein City, HCMC for those in the in the know, for around $1600 return. The return airfare was out of Hanoi..


A few short days later we were winging our way to Sydney. Much to the the embarrassment of Mrs Maverick I insisted, and the chagrin of the cabin staff , on getting out of seat, once the doors were closed , and checking the correct arming of them and that all sealing locks were fully engaged. I was then promptly escorted to my seat, given a complimentary glass of champagne , and told in no uncertain terms to “shut the fuck up” in a soto voice, about doors and about insisting on seeing the makers plate to ensure it wasn’t a Max but an 800 series, as they claimed.

After a short Qantas safety video consisting of what seemed 90 Qanats staff living in 130 countries proclaiming they knew how to close and open a seat belt, we had the obligatory “we proudly acknowledge our tribal elders”, or some such of nonsense. The same rubbish was announced on landing Sydney. For some unfathomable reason it was not announced on the way home from Sydney 10 days later.

Being a pilot myself, of small planes, once airborne I was going to race to the cockpit and check out the pilots seat movement but on the 800 series realized it wasn’t an issue and decided to keep my powder dry for the Air Vietnam A350-900 out of Sydney. Dear Mrs Maverick reminded me that the A350 is a side stick control thus the pilots are able to fold down a meal table unlike the Boeing 787 which has a yoke and the pilots have to eat their meals on their laps, and adjust their seats accordingly. That poor stewardess must be mortified putting that plane into a dive. Lesson is never play with the pilots lever in flight.

Four short hours later we were navigating transit security where Maverick , yes I know dear reader, having a first name the same as my last name does make life difficult hence Maverick Maverick wasn’t the best choice of my parents. It was compounded by them discovering my precious blue cigar lighter hidden in my pack pack, inadvertently. They then gave me them the works , also because I hadn’t taken my tablet out of the bag either, the only airport in the world that i have discovered that this is a problem.

Five hours later we boarded the Air Vietnam A350. Gratefully they were playing the safety video very shortly after we boarded, with no mention of canoes, waka, herons, takahae or tribal elders. Having popped up to the flight deck and introduced myself, I enquired to all preflight checks being done and that a thorough walkaround had been carried out. Nothing worse I told them than leaving your pitot tube covers on. Scored myself another free glass of champagne and something that sounded like fuckeeee you but I assumed it was something like thank you in Vietnamese. Where is Google translate when you need it.

Ten minutes later the Trent XWB engines with a 10:1 bypass ratio and with 97,000lbs of thrust each were powering us into the Sydney afternoon sky, straight up to 41,000 and 10 feet.

Two hours later , just south of Mt Isa, Maverick turns to Mrs Maverick, who is deep into her book, and announces “we just lost 6 feet” Whaaat she stutters. “We just lost 6 feet” , Lost 6 feet of what? “We just lost 6 feet in height, we are now at 40,000 and 4 feet” I exclaim. You interrupted my book on the history of Vietnam to tell me that! ” Dont worry airspeed is stable at 603 Mph, so alls good.”

“You say one more word for the next 5.5 hours otherwise I’m asking for an upgrade to premium economy and youre paying…….!

Part Two Follows, Do we make it to HCMC ?