No Minister

Archive for the ‘Humour’ Category

How many more times

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WOO HOO. We’re out of Level 4 lockdown and….

… that means we’re still trapped in our homes but with take out food.

Thrill me.

I’ve been to both cities. This story is entirely believable.

Don’t worry about the following picture of US military officers. They’re all trans-men. You can be confident that they represent the best of the USA as they move forward to more military humiliations in the future.

But back to Chinese Xi Snot, which remains the overwhelming topic of conversation in New Zealand even before the latest lockdown. I assume most readers are familiar with the famous little children’s book.

Soundproof? I think you mean virus-proof. Don’t believe me? Observe how many idiots you’ve seen wearing masks in open air parks in recent weeks.

Just imagine the guy on the branch as our Ministry of Health.

Spotted the other day on Social Media, because Science:

I put that real-life piece up in case you thought the following was jus too dumb to be real.

Meantime it looks like the Democrats have taken a leaf out of the Jacinda Adern Communication Strategy that pays $110 million to our local MSM to “save” them, with the following piece tucked away in that $3.5 trillion bill they’re trying to pass in Congress.

Because it’s America and everything is bigger, that item runs in the billions of dollars.

This is what America used to do with billions of dollars.

The final reduction gear on the USS North Carolina

Written by Tom Hunter

September 22, 2021 at 8:01 am

Posted in Humour

Right on the money

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Courtesy of the Bassett, Brash & Hide blog.

Were this to ever be published in the NZ Herald or Stuff, their businesses would likely be burned to the ground.

Fortunately that’s what’s going to happen when the government money spigot is eventually turned off.

Written by Tom Hunter

September 18, 2021 at 6:00 am

You best start believing in Cyberpunk Dystopias

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Because you’re in one.

At least going by these photos in APhilosophae’s Twitter thread.

And it’s not even as cool as the one in Neuromancer.

Meantime I came across this rather scary prediction from one of my favourite science writers, Carl Sagan. He was a bit of an old Lefty and was probably thinking it was the Right who would pull this crap rather than his own side, but still…

Written by Tom Hunter

September 11, 2021 at 12:01 pm

Jobs for the boys

That satirical movie poster was from 2014 when Obama traded five Taliban terrorists locked up in Guantanamo for a US soldier who had deserted from his unit, then did a hideous press conference where it became obvious where Private Bergdahl’s “patriotism” had come from. His father was invited by Obama and in addition to looking and sounding like he had decided to join the Taliban himself, he used the opportunity to shit all over the US.

It’s interesting to walk down this particular memory lane and realise that despite being much smarter and not senile, Obama and his team had more than a few cluster fucks of their own that seem little different from those that Biden is having. Obama’s clowns never shifted off their backsides to look into the details of Bergdahl, his capture, his dingbat father or much else before they decided to go for the dog and pony show at the Whitehouse seven years ago.

The full details of the men released can be found here. The following is my quick synopsis of three of them:

Mullah Mohammad Fazl (Taliban army chief of staff): Fazl is wanted by the UN for possible war crimes including the murder of thousands of Shiites in 1998.

Mullah Norullah Noori (senior Taliban military commander): Like Fazl, Noori is wanted by the United Nations for possible war crimes including the murder of thousands of Shiite Muslims.

Abdul Haq Wasiq (Taliban deputy minister of intelligence): Wasiq arranged for al Qaeda members to provide crucial intelligence training prior to 9/11. The training was headed by Hamza Zubayr, an al Qaeda instructor who was killed during the same September 2002 raid that netted Ramzi Binalshibh, the point man for the 9/11 operation.

Under the traditional rules of war all five of them should have been shot at dawn on the Afghan battlefields, but I guess this way some future US President might at least drone their ass at some point in time.

Alternatively they could have been processed through a military tribunal but for Obama’s delusional desire to put them through US civil courts. Yet another failure of competence as his own party rose up against him when he tried to bring Khalid Shaikh Mohammed to New York.

Well guess what sports fans? They’re back in power. As in real power. As in being part of the Cabinet of the new Taliban government of Afghanistan.

  • Mullah Norullah Nori (Acting Minister of Borders and Tribal Affairs)
  • Mohammed Fazl (Defense Deputy Minister)
  • Khairullah Khairkhwa (Acting Minister of Information and Culture)
  • Abdul Haq Wasiq (Acting Director of Intelligence)

So the last guy got his old job back. Pretty typical of a politician who knows where all the bodies are buried.

Written by Tom Hunter

September 9, 2021 at 1:00 pm

According to Medical Experts, these people are not insane.

You see, the screen capture here is that of a joke. Some fun being made of people driven insane with fear by the Chinese Lung Rot virus.

Unfortunately once you’ve finished chuckling at that, or perhaps a Babylon Bee satire on such things, you then have to face the dreadful reality that there are such people.

And they walk among us – not spreading the Xi Snot virus of course, but something much worse.


Perhaps this is the grim, forseeable future that Mr Baker warned about the other day?

I Can’t Quit You Baby

One SF technology I always appreciated was something called a “Stasis Field”, which would completely shield spaceships and the people inside from external forces but unlike more “normal” force fields (like Star Trek’s shields) also bring time to a halt inside.

Such fields are usually written as something that’s activated automatically to protect the ship and crew. The example I remember is from the famous Ringworld universe where a spaceship crashes on the ring and goes into stasis until the outside cools off. The crew emerges days later to discover they’ve melted a trench kilometres long in the surface.

Basically that’s how this current Lockdown L4 feels. The rest of the world is moving on and we await the chance to emerge and discover what damage we’ve wrought on our society.

Thankfully lots of old people will still be alive, so there’s that.

Anyway, it’s Wednesday so let’s see how the next generation of American military leaders is doing in the wake of the Afghanistan debacle.

No, no…
<= that on the Left Top is the previous generation, Ronald Lee Ermey, actor and 1960’s US Marine Corp drill instructor in his most famous role from Full Metal Jacket as …. a 1960’s US Marine Corp drill instructor.

At Left Bottom is the current generation, CJCS General Mark Milley. He and others like him are currently training up and promoting the next layer

Like LTG Gervais.

Not Ricky Gervais of The Office fame, although you might be hard pressed to tell the difference after looking at her recent Tweet.





LTG Gervais is the first female deputy commanding general of and COS of the United States Army Training and Doctrine Command. This is her Tweet.

Actually they’re British soldiers, as any number of people identified from the rifles they carried. She has since deleted the Tweet. Unfortunately she probably can’t delete her “training”.

With the economy and economic systems breaking down in Afghanistan they’ll likely soon be calls for food aid and the like, which I hope China, Russia and Pakistan will be left on the hook for. But I did appreciate this.

Back in the USA one of the prominent “academics” involved with turning Critical Race Theory (CRT) into a practical, everyday thing is Ibram X. Kendi. He’s even got a book out called “How to be an AntiRacist”, whose basic theme is that if you’re not that then you’re a racist. Needless to say Martin Luther King’s whole content of character vs skin colour schtick is so over, because it’s racist.

Meantime in South Australia the following is being put up on houses.

For the Lord will pass through to smite the Egyptians; and when he seeth the blood upon the lintel, and on the two side posts, the Lord will pass over the door, and will not suffer the destroyer to come in unto your houses to smite you.

How far away we are from Exodus 12:23 is hard to say at this point, although if I thought the Lord would smite down this government I’d be willing to give the whole blood-on-door thing a shot. Unfortunately we have no lambs and only two cats.

Meantime in Victoria the state government has even supplied a helpful little cartoon booklet that explains (hard words are in BLUE) all the things you’re allowed under their lockdowns.

Including one friend.

In the entire state.

So choose wisely.

They’re also doing whatever they can to train up the next generation of societal leaders.

That training will also instill a faith in science, like what Dr Mengele had.

Still, there are some things that help me retain my hope (not faith) in science. And technology. And that some people still believe in freedom. Take it away Mr Musk.

Written by Tom Hunter

September 8, 2021 at 12:00 pm

Posted in Humour

Art for Afghanistan’s sake

Despite a love of books I endured English only as far as I had to take it in high school, which was up to the end of 6th Form (Year 12 it is now called). Funnily enough that last year was the one I enjoyed the most as various books and essays had to be analysed.

Earlier English courses were broader, covering things like art and poetry.

I hated poetry.

Despite hating it (or perhaps because of that) there were certain types of poetry and art that stuck in the mind although the details are long lost. One of them was “Concrete Poetry”. The other was Dadaism:

… the Dada movement consisted of artists who rejected the logic, reason, and aestheticism of modern capitalist society, instead expressing nonsense, irrationality, and anti-bourgeois protest in their works.[4][5][6] The art of the movement spanned visual, literary, and sound media, including collage, sound poetry, cut-up writing, and sculpture.

Ah yes. The boy who loved science, logic, reason, and rationality was really going to fall for this stuff. It was crap. Our entire class thought it was crap, including those who would go on to do university degrees in English. Luckily we had an English teacher (huge, ginger afro and beard) who was more than happy to hear such blunt critiques and be amused by them.

So it has been with a sense of amusement and despair that I have watched a video going viral around the Interwebby that shows Afghan women being taught about Dadaism in 2015. The key view is at 31 seconds:

Incredible is it not? American taxpayers paid for this, as well as many, many other such things, as Cockburn explains at the Spectator:

So, alongside the billions for bombs went hundreds of millions for gender studies in Afghanistan. According to US government reports, $787 million was spent on gender programs in Afghanistan, but that substantially understates the actual total, since gender goals were folded into practically every undertaking America made in the country.

A recent report from the Special Inspector General for Afghanistan Reconstruction (SIGAR) broke down the difficulties of the project. For starters, in both Dari and Pastho there are no words for ‘gender’. That makes sense, since the distinction between ‘sex’ and ‘gender’ was only invented by a sexually-abusive child psychiatrist in the 1960s, but evidently Americans were caught off-guard.

The initiatives piled up one after another. Do-gooders established a ‘National Masculinity Alliance’, so a few hundred Afghan men could talk about their ‘gender roles’ and ‘examine male attitudes that are harmful to women’.

Challenging. In every sense of the word.

Under the US’s guidance, Afghanistan’s 2004 constitution set a 27 percent quota for women in the lower house — higher than the actual figure in America! A strategy that sometimes required having women represent provinces they had never actually been to. Remarkably, this experiment in ‘democracy’ created a government few were willing to fight for, let alone die for.

Probably the exact opposite, as Never Yet Melted suggests:

Western elites let Afghans see what Western elite culture is like. Naturally, and inevitably, they took down their AK-47s from the wall and fought tooth and nail to prevent being assimilated into that!

It should also be noted that Dadism arose in Germany after WWI in reaction to the waste, horror and futility of that war and was driven by the radical Left, who used it to attack everything they hated about the West. It was one of the centrepieces of the early German Wiemar period of government and fit perfectly with the uselessness and decadence of Weimar culture.

Perhaps that means we’ll see Dadism soon reborn in the USA, using MRE’s, PortaPotties, MRAPS and HumVees as the objects of art. The whole ethos would be a perfect fit for the American now. I’m also reminded of the famous final scene from the movie Cabaret.

As Law Professor Glenn Reynolds noted on his Instapundit blog:

“The American political/academic/managerial class is made up largely of buffoons. It’s hilarious, except for it being so toxic and deadly.”

Written by Tom Hunter

September 5, 2021 at 12:00 pm

The Truth shall set you free

One of the great things about our age is the tremendous amount of computer power available to ordinary people, enabling them to do the sort of work that even ten or twenty years ago would have required rooms full of servers costings millions of dollars.

Fifty years ago it would not have been possible to edit video without a building full of hard-wired machinery, plus a stack of experts.

But now, someone with a sense of fun and plenty of time on their hands can produce the following. Enjoy pricking the balloon of our pompous leading buffoons.

Written by Tom Hunter

September 2, 2021 at 5:18 pm

Posted in Australia, Humour

Tagged with

Communication Breakdown

It’s Springtime kids? Time to get outside in that warming sunshine with your mates to have fun and….



But apparently it’s not just the NZ government that’s showing the strain of endless and repeated lockdowns.

The Victorian government are starting to make noises about how they can’t go on like this. But I reckon they can, and will.

These headlines have not aged well.

A clearer juxtaposition.

You only do this when leaving a failing, wrecked Presidency and… Oh wait!

But as I’ve said, it’s not just Biden and his staff.

But then dinosaurs never do.

Still, judging by the Washington Post’s “most popular stories” on August 21, as things went down the gurgler in Afghanistan, it’s possible that the MSM memory-holing the whole thing to cover for Biden, might just work.

Admittedly the primary readers of this rag and driving such stories to prominence are the Washington D.C. crowd from whom spring the Best and the Brightest who deliver such failures to America – and don’t wish to be reminded or remind themselves of that fact.

Speaking of one of Orwell’s famous phrases, there’s that other one of Eastasia.., something, something, … Oceania – and naturally we’re not far off in identifying Emmanuel Goldstein too.

Written by Tom Hunter

September 1, 2021 at 6:00 am

Posted in Humour

Black Mountain Side

Good morning kids. It’s Wednesday and in Afghanistan conditions continue to worsen for the people as they discover that Islam really does mean “submission”.

Meanwhile here in New Zealand the population discovers that the Chinese Lung Rot virus also means “submission”.

Amazing how people in charge of a society can come up with entirely different reasons for screwing with your freedom – or “freedum”, as the cleverest of the Lefty trolls remind us.

But remember, ours will only be for a few days per year so it doesn’t really count. We’re not dealing with the NKVD for Stalin’s sake.

So, let’s see what’s been happening in the world, starting with everybody’s favourite failed state, California.

Actually it was two counties in California that did this, and the next few years will likely show similar revisions in a lot of other places, assuming the authorities can afford to be honest.

Which is perhaps why all those Christian following, MAGA hat-wearing, conspiracy-thinking, Deplorable Trump voters have gathered to fight back against Chinese Lung Rot vax in…. Santa Monica, California?

A coalition of groups including medical professionals, first responders, parents and students will gather in Santa Monica Saturday to protest Los Angeles’ impending COVID-19 vaccine mandate, saying it will segregate the city, breed more hate and violate the rights of tens of thousands of people.

Hardly a surprise of course, Harvard Medical Professor Censored for Questioning Legitimacy of Masks:

“Martin Kulldorff was suspended from Twitter for a month after questioning how effective masks really are at protecting against [Chinese] COVID-19. Now, LinkedIn is censoring his posts, even going so far as to remove two for violating its misinformation policy.”

Harvard Medical School? Pffft. Fringe nutters. You need to get your Covid-19 pandemic management qualifications from New York Governor Cuomo and his “Cuomosexuals” in the MSM who orgasmed throughout 2020 about his mad skillzz in dealing with the crisis in New York – unlike those callous “let ‘er rip” morons in Sweden.

As I review all the medical experts, doctors, epidemiologists and the like who are slowly surfacing after being buried in 2020 by peer group pressure (otherwise known as Extraordinary Popular Delusions and the Madness of Crowds), I keep thinking of this:

I’m sure Chelsea Handler understands this as well as “Mansplaining”, but she really needs to read that Berkeley University piece about “Whitesplaining” as well.

The thing is that I can’t recall any Right Winger I’ve known who would compliment your necklace and then pull the ‘game’ approach of praise/criticism by explaining to you why it’s morally objectionable because of its origins.

In my experience only Lefties do dick moves like that – which, admittedly is why it’s aimed at Berkeley university students.

Meanwhile, when former Obama Attorney General Eric “Wingman” Holder spewed forth these comments theother day you can be sure he was not talking about the US Right Wing.

In the wake of the various crisis hitting the Biden (Jill) and Klain Administration, there will likely be fewer Americans than ever tuning in to more episodes of Nancy Pelosi’s Great January 6 Insurrection investigation – otherwise known as partisan Nancy’s attempt to keep the GOP on the back foot. The first episode included a lot of crying, mainly by members of the Capitol Police. The same armed Capitol Police who get to gun down people like the woman above (Ashli Babbit) in unarmed situations and get clean away with it, unlike every other Police Officer in the USA.

Meh. Punch a Nazi, amiright? They need to be tracked.

That’s assuming you think there’s anything wrong with Nazi’s in the first place.

In any case the fact is that the real criminal in all this is society, which is why Communist NYC mayor Wilhelm DeBlasio has developed a new plan to counter violence in his city Shoot Somebody and Get $1,000 Per Month to Play Nice: (and no, this is not a Babylon Bee headline)

“De Blasio believes it’s foolish to send a murderer to prison when you can pay him $1,000 a month in the hopes he agrees to stop honeycombing his neighbors.”

Could be worse, you could be in Britain, where the awesome predictive powers of the Babylon Been strike once more:

About 7% of violent crime in Britain results in a prosecution. Conviction rates are some portion of that.

Perhaps American police forces will pick this up and soon be on patrol for mean Tweets and other Social Media offensive jokes in their country. In the case of America they’ll have to keep a special eye out for any return of these racists.

While it’s been nice to finally have a Big, Serious story that’s not about the fucking Chinese Lung Rot, I suspect that after a couple more weeks of murder and brutality the Afghan story will be dropped like a hot potato because the US MSM are still heavily invested in the Democrat party, if not Joe “Pudding Bowl” Biden.

Still, they’ll be plenty to laugh at for a while yet, especially at all the “Experts” (even ones with political experience and PhD’s and all) who claimed that after the coarseness and crudity of Trump, Biden would be the one Who Would Restore Our Norms and Bring Respect Back to America.

I don’t agree with the following because, based on what I’ve seen in the West over the last 18 months, our governments would absolutely use F-15’s on the domestic population, since they’re the real terrorists. Doesn’t mean they’d win of course.

A lot of the Progressive pieties – which includes many right-wingers like NeoConservatives and Free Traders – are collapsing at the moment because of Afghanistan, but don’t worry, they’ll be resurrected as soon as the memory of that catastrophe fades.

I have to admit that these Taliban 2.0 bastards are far better at interacting with the West than their 1990’s forebears. They’re actually aware of the chad wojak sub genre.

You can see what a great fit they’re going to be for China.

Finally, for all you cat lovers.

Written by Tom Hunter

August 25, 2021 at 8:00 am

Posted in Humour