No Minister

Archive for the ‘Humour’ Category

Lessons for Luxon

with 2 comments

Humorous lessons too! He even looks a bit like Luxon.

Take it away Chief.

Written by Tom Hunter

June 28, 2022 at 3:28 pm

Job Security

with 4 comments

Two examples of this.

First is total job security. I invite every socialist in the world to tell me that they deserve, that I deserve, to be paid as much money as Bob Bergen.

.

Second is declining job security.

This is ongoing elder abuse and his staff should be brought up on charges (and his wife and dirtbag son). If they think he needs this card and such prescriptive instructions to make a bog standard appearance then they know he’s mentally gone. If you did this to a member of your family, in most nations you’d be committing a crime.

Written by Tom Hunter

June 24, 2022 at 10:26 pm

Going to California

leave a comment »

Ha ha. Yeah, nah!

Even as the cold winds of winter finally hit NZ, there’s no way I’m ever going to be California Nightmaring, given what their government, their people, have done to the place. So far there’s not many signs of self-awareness that they’ve done this to themselves, but that’s usually the case with ideologues, especially when in power, which is why The Authorities can put up posters like this;

I always love it when pop cultural memes make it all the way into corporate boardrooms and politics. I guess J P Morgan wanted to make sure people were listening about the approaching economic storms.

For those who are not aware of the meme, here’s the scene from Pulp Fiction. Suffice to say that this line is uttered just before Jules “pops a cap in someone’s ass”.

I won’t really miss this POS when he eventually loses or retires, but in some respects he’s a great and ongoing advertisement for the Global Left as they are nowadays.

Speaking of guns and death, a Leftist poses an interesting problem about the US Supreme Court.

It’s not just anecdata like the above that demonstrates why Twitter is such a cesspool, but surveys also…

Meantime in the US the Jan6 “investigations” are collapsing into the yawnfest they deserve to be as a pale imitation of a Stalinist show trial. As usual the Babylon Bee is spot on with this take.

Perhaps if they’d dragged this guy in for an interview, plus some of the other “glowies” it would be have been interesting…

Actually this guy gets closer to the problem the Jan6 politicians and Beltway crowd has not figured out – yet.

Wow, I can’t believe Vice is in financial trouble again and looking to cut more of their brilliant staff.

Written by Tom Hunter

June 22, 2022 at 3:11 pm

Posted in Humour

She’ll always be Cindy to me

with one comment

This is a rather brilliant parody. It’s on Rumble, which our WordPress blog is not yet set up to work (😉), but if it lands on YouTube (boooo…. hisssss).. I’ll update it.

A love song for Jacinda.

She’s like tits on a bull, but the left idolise her,
Our team of five million? She sold it to Pfizer
It’s not chauvinism, or misogyny,
She can declare her pronouns but she’ll always be Cindy to me.

She can pretend to care, she can furrow her brow,
She can fix housing markets, just don’t ask her how,
And she prints lots of money, like it grows on a tree,
Blame it on someone else now that petrol’s at $3.33.

Oh…. She takes care of your health. Socialism by Stealth,
It’s a vast over reach
Oh… and she’s painfully woke, and she can’t take a joke,
She just calls it hate speech.

She’s vain to a fault, she’s flaky and fickle
She’s building back better with hammer and sickle,
She’s Lenin in leggings, she’s a trotting Trotsky,
We’re the next Venezuela, and she’ll always be Cindy to me.

Hmmmmm…..

Oh…. She takes care of herself, Redistributes your wealth,
Waves her hands like a mime.
Oh… has her snout in the trough, before galloping off,
She’s just biding her time.

She tells you be kind when she’s really quite cruel,
If somebody sneezes she’ll shut down your school,
But she will be evicted in 2-23,
But she’ll get a job by just calling Klaus Schwab

And she’ll always be Cindy to me.

Hmmmmmm….. Hmmmm…..

Written by Tom Hunter

June 21, 2022 at 3:00 pm

Stunning and Brave

with 6 comments

Apparently it’s Pride Month. Again. Our annual opportunity to subtly change what rainbows have meant for thousands of years.

I jest, but in the wake of the last four decades of progress made by the gay community in Western nations the Pride parades have become a bit redundant. There would be few gays, even teenagers, who still live in the closet and need an annual dose of public virtue signalling to tell them they can be proud of who they are. It’s very 70’s.

Certainly the gays I’ve known since the 1980’s regard it now with eye rolling sighs, but then they’re all moderate Right Wingers who just aren’t impressed any longer by their more flamboyant, “look-at-me, look-at-me” associates who are just gagging to perform Josephine Baker’s Danse banane in public.

Also the movement itself has started to split with the latest cutting edge developments around the trans movement and the outrage over why homosexual men won’t date men with vaginas and lesbians refusing to bed women with penises. The Auckland Pride parade hit the skids in 2018 “because of all those racist, homophobic, transphobic, and violent experiences with the police.

In fact the gay lifestyle is pretty much in your face on an everyday basis in the media, entertainment, and business, with the corporates eager to flaunt their “conscience” in advertising. There’s just one problem, as noted by Intersectionalist Poet, Titania McGrath:

Or this clearer comparison

Actually the “Rainbow” community may be filled with a degree of envy of the way many of those nations enforce their morality, judging by the way things are moving in the West.

Luckily there will always be Nazis to punch.

Written by Tom Hunter

June 21, 2022 at 6:00 am

Laughter and tears

with one comment

Laughter first.

I’ve referred to the wonderful online personality Titania McGrath a couple of times before (No Parody. Only Truth, You just can’t make this stuff up!, and Wax That Scrotum).

But she’s expanded into long-form with Laughter is a fascist hate crime.

At a recent “comedy” show in Los Angeles, a brave audience member peacefully attacked comedian Dave Chappelle in self-defence against his violent jokes. Some reports have suggested that the assailant wasn’t a social justice activist at all, but a victim of mental illness. But the two are by no means mutually exclusive. Many of my best friends are clinically insane. 

This incident occurred only weeks after the actor Will Smith slapped Chris Rock at the Academy Awards for making problematic jokes about his wife. Soon after, Smith was presented with an Oscar, which was presumably the racist movie industry’s way of rewarding him for hitting a person of colour.

Read the whole thing.

Now to the tears.

Even with the US Left’s meltdown over Supreme Court Justice Kavanaugh during his 2018 hearings I think it’s safe to say that Clarence Thomas is still the Justice they hate the most. He is of course a Black Conservative, and any coloured person who strays off the Democrat party reservation is placed in the Hate column (“Uncle Tom” – of course). Add to this the fact that their Kavanaugh-style takedown attempted on him during his nomination in 1991, also failed and we’re talking Hate+.

For his first few years on the SCOTUS bench he didn’t ask many questions and so the Left could content themselves with implying (quietly to themselves) that he was a moron. Unfortunately for them in recent years they’ve begun to realise the influence he’s had on key decisions, clerks and the court in general – and they’re scared: (Hate++)

The oft-misunderstood Justice has single-handedly reshaped the way conservatives think about the law. God help us.

So as usual with the Left they’re always looking for a chance to take him down, and the latest opportunity has come via his wife (yes, she’s White, another black mark against him) who, in online messages on January 6, 2021, cheered on those who thought the 2020 election was crooked – that link is to NPR, the US equivalent to RNZ, but the person interviewed is the extremist partisan New Yorker “journalist” Jane Mayer, who has never let a dishonest smear of a Republican pass her by so you know what to expect. The argument is that Thomas will need to recuse himself from any related cases that come before SCOTUS.

Thomas of course has laughingly told such critics to get stuffed, knowing the law as he does:

Justice Thomas to the media: “I will absolutely leave the Court when I do my job as poorly as you do yours.”

But that hasn’t stopped the ongoing drumbeat against him – which was why the news that none other than Justice “The Wise Latina” Sotomayor, at the opposite end of the ideological spectrum from Thomas, had stepped in to defend him, caused an even bigger meltdown.

I actually feel sorry for Sotomayor, who revealed her humanity and decency here – and has discovered that such qualities are not wanted by the US Left. It really doesn’t matter how good a lefty you think you are; you put one foot out of line and it’s the rack for you.

Back to the drawing board for the Democrat party and the Mid-Term elections.

But it’s the following story that counts for more, since Thomas is used to the slings and arrows of the Washington D.C. Democrat hate, while people like Liz Collin and her husband Bob Kroll, living in Minneapolis, are not.

Liz was an Emmy award-winning reporter and anchor on Minneapolis TV station WCCO-TV (a CBS affiliate), which she described as her “dream job” when growing up in the city. But all that came to an end in 2020 when the BLM/Antifa crowd and their Democrat Party comrades went after her husband because he was a Minneapolis police lieutenant and president of the Minneapolis Police Department (MPD) union. Here’s an interview with both, and while Kroll’s story is interesting in itself (the local politicians basically threw the MPD to the wolves), it’s the hate that opened up on Collin – merely because she was Kroll’s wife and also a prominent TV personality – that amazes me, even though I should not be amazed by such things now. She got this not just at work (demotion) but at home, where death threats against her became an everyday occurrence, often she had to send her kids to friends.

She now works for a small, online outfit called Alpha News, and if there’s any justice in the world they’ll begin pulling viewers away from the likes of WCCO.

This is America.

Written by Tom Hunter

June 20, 2022 at 6:07 pm

Some White Saviour Analysis

leave a comment »

A database of progressive white men who are thirsty for credit

On Freddie deBoer’s substack site, he has a very funny, if lengthy, article which takes a few nasty shots at people I’ve mostly (and fortunately) never heard of but clones of which exists everywhere, The Good White Man Roster.

Freddie starts with an overview:

These are the guys who have carefully crafted personas as ALLIES, as the good ones, as the right kind of white guy. These are the dudes whose every engagement on social media functions to let you know how very sorry they are, but always seem to come out on top in doing so. 

And then goes through a list. Here are some samples of his takes:

… this is the Good White Man in his Platonic form… He’s so very sorry, everybody, and it cannot escape your notice that he’s more sorry than everyone else; that’s what an advanced being he is. He apologizes, but only in the context of referring to some earlier, fallen self, and in doing so he inescapably valorizes his current self… He who humbleth himself wishes to be exalted.

Chris Hayes, MSNBC

[MSNBC’s Chris Hayes is] a living, breathing laundromat for the post-collegiate elite’s ugly feelings of superiority, reassuring them every day on his show that their snobbery and self-obsession are justified thanks to their superior moral virtue… I genuinely cannot remember the last time this man made an argument on his show that risked offending subscribers to the New York Times.

There are a lot of people competing for the “most ardent supporter of a totally undertheorized and substance-free vision of an ostensibly post-capitalist future” crown these days, but Higgins is not going to be outworked on that score. Dialectics. False consciousness. Defund the police, or abolish ICE, or whatever. Let’s uh build the exceptionally vague society of our dreams. Also he lists his literary agent in his Twitter bio, which I find truly amazing.

Hello! Would you like a sneering shithead to condescendingly inform you that the dead center of witless corporate liberal opinion is in fact the utterly spotless expression of the transcendent truth, delivered with total conviction by someone who spent fifteen minutes reading Quora answers to arrive at his position? Buddy, have I got a pundit for you!

This man is the basic bitch of Good White Men, a computer-generated NPC of a Noble Ally. Everything about his performance (and, if you’ll forgive me, his face) is so perfectly in the center of Good White Manness, I half suspect he’s been created by a creepy machine learning algorithm designed to mimic embittered social studies teachers who always told themselves they were destined for more.

The kind of guy who discovers body positivity only after his metabolism slows down at 24 and suddenly he can’t lose his beer gut. The kind of guy who develops a keen interest in Thatcher’s depravity during the Troubles while taking a semester abroad in Dublin surrounded by cute girls with republican sentiments and potentially-accessible vaginas.

His general take on such White Men is also precise

Any Good White Man who feels that their appearance on this roster is an injustice can easily be removed. They need only follow their ideology to its logical ends by shutting the fuck up.

Which they will never, ever do.

Your Saturday Night Snake Catching Humor

with one comment

I’d like to think that the guy in the audience is part of the skit, with the stand-up comedian as the straight guy for a change, given how good the answers are from the guest. I can really imagine John Clarke doing that.

Either way it’s bloody funny. Enjoy.

Written by Tom Hunter

June 11, 2022 at 4:27 pm

Posted in Australia, Humour

Four Sticks

with 2 comments

Since the leaves are still turning colours and falling I figure that picture fits.

Naturally we should start this weekly review of loose ends with some humour, starting with possible reasons for an increasing number of scientific studies not being replicable…

The Police Chief in the film survived so no ill omens here – at least for him.

I don’t think you have to be a baseball fan to get this.

My son has had a recent encounter with Chinese business culture here in NZ that’s worth its own post, but we should have considered trolling the bastards like this.

Over at the American blog Powerline one of their readers sent them an example how insane things are getting with his recent setup of an account at his alma mater, University of Texas Law School, so that he could obtain reference articles. This screenshot from the application page:

I’m starting to warm to the Two Spirit concept. But remember folks, Culture Wars don’t affect politics, especially here in NZ apparently, even though politics is downstream of culture…

Aided by the MSM of course, with their layers and layers of editors and fact-checkers

I used to accept Left-wing complaints about police brutality as coming from a place of good will – but I now accept that they’re perfectly ok with it, or the lack of it, as long as it aids their causes.

There is some hope though in that the gap between the Establishment elites and ordinary people continues to show up when the latter have a say.

The really good news is that revolutions always eat themselves.

We’re still over a year away from our election but the US Mid-terms are coming up fast, which is why this cartoon is timely.

“Tank” Abrams has never stopped publically bitching about the 2018 Georgia Governor’s election being “stolen” from her. Naturally she’s not banned from Facebook, Twitter or any of the MSM for making this claim, refusing to accept a democratic result or threatening the system of American democracy.

Meantime it’s nice to know that all the double standards and gaslighting in the world won’t save you from reality forever, as Joe Biden and the Democrats are about to find out. First with gas…

Now with baby formula.

Meantime I’ll leave it to old people to figure out who this famous English acting hottie is.

Written by Tom Hunter

June 8, 2022 at 6:00 am

Posted in Humour

SUNDAY SMILES – THAT NICE MR PUTIN UNLEASHES A NEW WEAPON ON UKRAINE

leave a comment »

Written by The Veteran

June 5, 2022 at 1:38 pm

Posted in Humour