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Posts Tagged ‘Black Humour

Mysteries of the Special Military Operation – Part 3

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The Mystery of the Sunken Ship Salvage

Three weeks ago the flagship of Russia’s Black Sea fleet, the Moskva, sank.

In a storm while being towed to port.

After an ammunition bunker exploded.

And it was not, I repeat NOT, anything to do with the Ukranians firing land-based anti-ship missiles at it. In the same way that when reports first broke of it being towed after being damaged by … something… that was denied too – until it could no longer be denied.

As was acknowledged about two weeks later by the US DOD and others, a missile strike is exactly what happened to the ship, but they probably knew from day one, given the electronic coverage they have of the area.

However, things got ever murkier when Russia sent a salvage ship, the Kommuna, to the location, complete with deep diving submersible. (cool side note: the Kommuna was commissioned during the time of the last Russian Czar)

Why would they do such a thing?

I think everyone could agree that the largest warship sunk since 1945 — 600-feet long and displacing 11,490 tons in 300 feet of water — isn’t going to be raised. Then the question is, what is worth the effort of deploying a submersible and possibly divers to recover. It is difficult to imagine that there are surviving electronics or crypto gear that just have to be salvaged. The idea that conventional munitions or missile tubes would be worth this level of effort strikes me as ludicrous. Just as silly is the theory that the Russians are trying to recover bodies from the wreckage. The Black Sea is a closed environment; ships entering have to pass through The Straits, and Moskva’s wreck is a very short distance from the major Russian naval base at Sebastopol. Physical monitoring of vessels entering the Black Sea and the wreck site could provide eternal security. There is no danger of a repeat of the Glomar Explorer going after the wreck of the K-129 in the open Pacific.

Well there could be one reason and it’s related to a propaganda claim that the Ukrainians threw out after they sunk the ship – that it was carrying nuclear weapons. None other than the US DOD jumped on that, saying they’d seen no indications of such. But the Russian reaction was interesting, as this writer said:

What aroused suspicion was Russia ignored the allegation. If you’ve been following the progress of Putin’s War, you know any time Russia is accused of something egregious or criminal, they have three sequential responses:
a) we didn’t do it;
b) you faked it to create a “provocation”;
c) you do it all the time.

All of this, of course, is speculation except for one thing. There is a marine salvage vessel with a submersible at the site of the Moskva, and there are no logical reasons that don’t involve nuclear weapons.

Readers are invited to contribute suggested reasons – logical and otherwise.

Written by Tom Hunter

May 9, 2022 at 11:00 am

Mysteries of the Special Military Operation – Part 2

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The Mystery of the Russian Fires

It seems that the Russians are having an awful run of bad luck with fires in major installations recently.

On Thursday [April 21], a catastrophic fire ripped through the building housing the Russian Ministry of Defense’s 2nd Central Scientific-Research Institute in Tver, some 80 miles northeast of Moscow. This “scientific-research institute” is actually the design bureau responsible for creating Russia’s ballistic missiles and anti-aircraft missiles.

Later that same day one of the largest chemical plants in Russia caught fire.

Dmitrievsky Chemical Plant is the largest producer of butyl acetate and industrial solvents in Russia and Eastern Europe, as well as a supplier of a wide range of chemical and petrochemical products in Russia and in the world. Which means a lot of military applications also in Russia.

Then the next day, Friday, April 23, there was this.

The fire wasn’t just any location. It was at a massive plant owned by Korolev Rocket and Space Corporation Energia, or RKK Energia, Russia’s primary manufacturer of ballistic missile, spacecraft, and space station components.

But wait! There’s more! Early Monday morning (local time), explosions rocked two oil tank farms in Bryansk, Russia.  Bryansk is about 250 miles northeast of the Ukrainian capital, Kiev, and less than 70 miles from the Ukrainian border.

One tank farm catching fire is careless; two flaming up is rather extravagant. Two tank farms, geographically separated, going Zippo on the same night pushes the laws of probabilities.

So let’s count them up. A missile design bureau building, a major chemical plant, a place that builds missiles, and not one but two massive oil tank farms. I think these are what’s called strategic targets.

I’m sensing another one of those “Three Five times is enemy action” situations – in a nation at war.

Written by Tom Hunter

May 8, 2022 at 7:00 am

Mysteries of the Special Military Operation – Part 1

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The Mystery of The Dead Russian Oligarchs.

I never did much like the classic British crime story, where a murder occurs in some small, obscure English village, filled with quirky characters, unusual methods of killing and unusual motives; stories crafted by very English writers like Agatha Christie, Ngaio Marsh, and Ellis Peters. To date there have been at least 132 murderous episodes of Midsomer Murders, which makes that fictional English county seem awfully dangerous.

No, in the face of the drive-by murders that happened in Chicago (and are happening more than ever now), where people are hardly ever even arrested, let alone convicted, the sheer randomness and frequency of modern murders made those English tales just too quaint, one even might say twee, to bear watching.

But there are times when such stories are worth looking at, as with The Mystery of The Dead Russian Oligarchs.

It seems that since January of this year six such people have committed suicide. This seems rather a high rate of death for people who seemingly have everything. I admit I didn’t notice any of this until this story broke a few days ago:

On April 18, former vice-president of Gazprombank Vladislav Avaev was found dead in his multi-million apartment on Universitetsky Prospekt in Moscow, together with his wife and daughter.

Murder-Suicide, and the murder of his own family no less. Unusual. Even amazing.

But it gets more amazing. Another two of those six oligarchs, Sergey Protosenya and Vasily Melnikov, also committed suicide after murdering their families.

[Protosenya], the 55-year-old millionaire was found hanged in the garden of the villa in Lloret de Mar by Catalonian police, Spanish media reported, while his wife and daughter were found in their beds with stab wounds on their bodies.

According to police investigations mentioned by Kommersant, Melnikov—who reportedly worked for the medical firm MedStom—was found dead in the apartment together with his wife Galina and two sons. They had all died from stab wounds and the knives used for the murders were found at the crime scene.

What a coincidence. As a famous writer once put it.

Mr Bond, they have a saying in Chicago: ‘Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action’”

No shit Sherlock. I wonder if the Wagner Group are involved in helping the Police with their inquiries?

Wagner is Russia’s most famous private military company, and is reportedly named after its commander, Dmitry Utkin, a former Russian military intelligence (GRU) officer who used the nom de guerre Wagner during his service in Chechnya.

Wagner is active in eastern Ukraine, Syria, and several countries in Africa and Latin America.

The Russian oligarch, under whose business empire Wagner sits, is a solid pal of Putin’s, naturally. He actually got his toe in the door via catering:

Today, his official business is a sprawling catering consortium that provides meals to millions of Russian soldiers, policemen, prosecutors, hospital patients and schoolchildren in return for hefty tax-funded payments estimated at at least $3 billion since 2011. 

Normally I’d be very surprised if such a man committed suicide. On the other hand he’s leveraged this business into other things to help out President Putin, which may put him at risk when a scapegoat is needed:

During this period, Prigozhin spoke or texted with practically the entire leadership of the Presidential Administration Office, along with a number of senior figures at the FSB, in the Federal Protective Service (FSO) and the Ministry of Defense. In particular, he called and texted Dmitry Peskov – President Putin’s adviser and spokesperson – a total of 144 times. He also called – or was called by – Anton Vayno, Putin’s chief of staff, a total of 99 times.

As well as similar numbers of calls and texts with a lot of other higher ups that would not appear to be connected with catering, even to the Russian Army. At the link (from the Bellingcat investigative site) is a clickable chart for all this with more detail. In case you’re wondering about them being “a CIA-backed venture”, well let’s just say that although their focus has been Russia in Syria and Ukraine, the Dutch-based outfit doesn’t express a lot of warmth to the USA either, given their uncovering of the use of Croatia as a front for shipping MANPAD missiles to Jihadi fighters in Syria.

How they got hold of Prigozhin’s information is a story in itself:

This investigation is based on a review of leaked email archives belonging to employees working for Prigozhin’s group of companies. Some of these archives have already been subject of investigations by independent Russian media while others have been obtained exclusively by the investigative team. We have validated the authenticity of the messages and contained documents through interviews with several former and current employees of Prigozhin’s overseas influencing operations.

Bellingcat has analyzed Prigozhin’s telephone records for an eight-month period spanning late 2013 and early 2014. The records were obtained from hacked emails of Prigozhin’s personal assistant leaked in 2015 by the Russian hacking collective Shaltai Boltay. The emails contained telephone billing records for his company Concord Consulting & Management, and we were able to identify Prigozhin’s personal number among the list of corporate numbers based on a reverse-phone-number-search app.

You may have heard that name before if you follow US politics. Concord is the troll farm that bombarded Facebook and Twitter with about $100,000 worth of adverts and bots (fake accounts) during the 2016 US election. To be fair it should be pointed out that while this was claimed to be “Russian interference” in the election by the Mueller Trump-Russian Collusion Investigative team, leading to Concord and a bunch of other Russians being indicted in 2018, the entire case collapsed when Concord’s lawyers unexpectedly turned up in court demanding to see the evidence, only for the Mueller team to squeal about how they needed more time or that it was “sensitive” information. The judge, aware that when an indictment is made it means you’re ready to go to trial, promptly threw the whole thing out.

Even so, Prigozhin is clearly one of Putin’s right hand men and is up to his armpits with Concord, the Wagner Group and a lot of other business. I’d say he’s playing with fire:

When you combine this with stories of a purge within the Russian domestic security service (150 FSB Foreign Intelligence Agents and Putin’s Domestic Policy Advisor Purged for Ukraine Fiasco), the head of Putin’s personal paramilitary force being placed under arrest (Top General in Putin’s Personal Army Is Arrested by FSB), the firing of eight senior generals, and a fresh purge underway in the Ukraine theater, one is not left with the view of a healthy government.

Written by Tom Hunter

May 7, 2022 at 7:00 am

Wacist, Wacist, Wacist,….

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It must be election year in the USA because the Democrat-supporting MSM are trying to “prep the battlespace”, as we armchair warriors say.

The first order of business therefore is to try and destroy the small fraction of the MSM and Social Media that does not agree with the Democrats and worse, actually points out on a daily basis what a bunch of twats and toxic morons they are.

If you’re the New York Times the starting point is the dreaded Fox News, and the aiming point is Tucker Carlson, who is killing it with ratings while his competitors flounder in his wake.

Apparently the NYT has just published an article about how awful Tucker is, darlings, and despite being a 9000-word scream into the void that is the NYT readership, there are apparently two more pieces just like it.

Carlson must be loving this.

Despite the usual cast of thousands of reporters used for the whole thing – apparently they weren’t being used to investigate the Joe and Hunter Biden story or anything else for that matter – I love the fact that the lead writer is named Nicholas Confessore. Made me think of this.

Wait until they discover Paul Joseph Watson.

Written by Tom Hunter

May 3, 2022 at 10:29 am

Stamping on a human face forever

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As we slowly crawl toward freedom and away from the mandates and restrictions surrounding General Tso’s Sickness pandemic, it’s worth knowing that there will always be a part of the population that loved all this and are feeling bereft.

You see it with people still wearing masks outdoors and while driving cars alone, or who still hold their phones to scan in before entering shops.

It turns out that not everybody likes freedom, and based on my everyday observations the percentage is too high for comfort in (supposedly) freedom-loving democracy.

So the following cartoon seems appropriate.

I’d forgotten about this survey from the USA.

Written by Tom Hunter

April 13, 2022 at 10:27 am

It’s a good thing George Carlin is dead

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That was one message from Bill Maher’s take on the impact of Cancel Kulture in his world of using humour to stick it to powerful people.

I haven’t covered The Slap Heard Around The World because it’s just more of Hollywood being awful, but this time in a petty way that amounted to them eating their own as well as being yet another black mark for the Oscars. IMHO it was not as bad as the crap they churn out for us to watch. And now I have Maher referring to it anyway, except that his angle isn’t the screaming about violence, toxic males or the hypocrisy involved but what it says about how the US Left is handling humour nowadays, with another in his series of Explaining Jokes to Idiots (bonus points for the shoutout to the famous Seinfeld episode, The Magic Loogie, with “back and to the left”, itself a Black Comedy parody of Oliver Stone’s movie JFK).

If you think that it trivialises Cancel Kulture in focusing on its effects on jokes instead of Very Serious Ideas then you probably don’t know about this from 2021:

A nonprofit organization that major U.S. tech companies rely on for content moderation is expanding the scope of content it will blacklist on social media platforms.

The Global Internet Forum to Counter Terrorism will expand its database of terrorist content to cover content shared by white nationalist and alt-right users, Reuters reported Monday. Tech companies, including Facebook, Microsoft, Google, and Twitter, rely on the forum’s database to automatically remove inappropriate content. Experts worry that the forum’s lack of transparency could cause some users to be unfairly censored.

The Global Internet Forum to Counter Terrorism was created in 2017 to censor content from U.N.-designated terrorist organizations. The forum’s board is advised by the European Union’s Directorate-General for Migration and Home Affairs, which recently released a report entitled “It’s Not Funny Anymore: Far-Right Extremists’ Use of Humor.”

More in that link, although it’s mostly not about humour.

The worst is when the comics censor themselves, when they become Woke, which seems to be what’s happened to one of Maher’s famous compadres, Jon Stewart.

The liberal comic retired from his “The Daily Show” perch in 2015, spawning tributes from across the media landscape. He changed the face of late night TV, they cried, and they were right. For better and much worse.

His impact, from his liberal take on the news to his bleeped profanity shtick, became part of the late night playbook.

Hell, I used to laugh along with The Daily Show as well, even as he took shots at the Right (like Maher does) to a far greater degree than he did at the Left.

But I did not appreciate the fact that after basically destroying what was a very good show of Left vs Right political and ideological argument, CNN’s Crossfireby going on it in 2004 and attacking the folks there as unserious hacks, saying it was a show that “hurt America” by treating serious ideas in a (too) humorous way – Stewart’s own show simply carried on pushing little but the Left’s line while the rest of the media environment collapsed into the same echo chamber:

Is the media landscape Stewart helped create better for it, where Brian Williams regularly engages in Stewart-like snark (he called Ron Johnson a Russian asset the other day for reading a Federalist article into the record) and Tucker Carlson is the biggest name as a solo act in cable news?

In a context in which so much ink is dedicated to the concept of silos and the elimination of common space between right and left — and I mean the real right and left, not David Brooks and Maureen Dowd — do we honestly want a world where there is no space where these warring sides meet to do rhetorical battle?

The answer is: of course not. It’s much, much worse. The inability to have a space where such debates play out, and the inability of existing entities to provide such a space, has led directly to a degradation of our political conversation and a lack of familiarity with even the most basic version of the other side’s perspective on the world.

And as Jim Treacher memorably noted of Stewart’s routine:

Once I saw through his Clown Nose Off/Clown Nose On routine — “You should listen to me because what I’m saying is important, but I’ll brush off your rebuttal by insisting I’m just a comedian” — it was like the optical illusion with the cows. It might take you a minute to see it, but once you do, you can’t unsee it.

Since Treacher’s analysis in 2013 people have looked at the famous old Crossfire segment and observed that Stewart was pulling the Clown Nose On / Clown Nose Off routine there as well.

There was some of this also when he recently appeared on an episode of one of his Daily Show proteges, Late Night With Stephen Colbert, and spoke some common sense about the Wuhan Lab Leak theory, which had Colbert back-peddling fast until he finally asked Stewart how long he’d been working for Senator Ron Johnson (boom-tish for Liberal snark – see above).

Sadly he seems to have gone full Clown Nose Off as a result of savage attacks by Woke critics of his old show and more recent works:

The woke mob, which will “resurface” the past to attack people in the present, deemed his “Daily Show” writers room insufficiently diverse. And Stewart, rather than defend his team or their work, groveled for forgiveness. That must have stung, but it’s more likely another moment left a palpable scar on his psyche.

That other moment was a movie called “Irresistible” that Stewart made about politics and which lampooned both the GOP and the Democrats. That was not acceptable:

It’s cowardly to make a film lampooning Democrats as out of touch rather than Republicans as unquestionably evil, but this is what “centrism” is these days, and that’s the “both sides” ideology that Stewart espoused back during his days on The Daily Show, and that’s the shit that doesn’t fly anymore.

War, baby! Götterdämmerung. The final fight between the forces of Good and (Unquestionable) Evil.

This is why his latest show, “The Problem with Jon Stewart” on the Apple+ streaming network, had an episode titled “The Problem with White People.” that ended up with Andrew Sullivan, Mr Gay Mrriage himself, a voter of Obama-Obama-Clinton-Biden in the last few years, being attacked as a racist by Stewart’s guest, with Stewart in full, Clown Nose Off agreement:

I just assumed he wouldn’t demonize or curse at a guest; he would moderate; he would entertain counter-arguments; he would defend fair play. After all, this was the man who had lacerated Crossfire for bringing too much heat and not enough light. He believed in sane discourse. He was a liberal, right?

He is indeed, it’s just that poor old Sullivan, despite writing about Woke issues, still thinks that Liberals fit his stereotype, the comfortable picture he has of them, and of himself:

At that point, it became clear that Stewart was not conducting a televised debate, but initiating a struggle session. The point of the session was not to discuss anything, but to further enforce the dogma he had pronounced. So I found myself in the equivalent of one of those workplace indoctrination seminars — in which any disagreement is regarded as a form of “hate” or “ignorance.” But worse: I was in a struggle session with a live mob sitting in, cheering and jeering, which Stewart led and orchestrated. For good measure, Stewart called me a racist and told me I was not “living in the same fucking country as we are,” and went on to angrily call me a “motherfucker.”

Sullivan also got this treatment from the guest (predictably a Liberal White Woman):

I did not come on this show to argue with another white man. That’s one of the reasons we don’t even engage with white men at Race2Dinner, because quite honestly if white men were going to do something about racism, you had 400 years. You could have done it.

A key attack point. If it sounds familiar that’s because we’ve heard it in New Zealand also, in relation to White Colonialism, and you will hear more of it in the near future. Sullivan finishes his detailed piece on the history of White and Black race in the USA by drawing the obvious parallel with Stewart’s ethnicity:

… the trope of a malign racial force existing through history across time and space is one Jon Stewart might have once recognized before he joined the woke cult. I wonder what he would have said if someone had come on his old show and said, “I did not come on this show to argue with a Jew,” or “every single Jew upholds these systems,” or “it doesn’t matter what a Jew’s politics are, he’s still a Jew, and therefore a racist”. What if she had bragged that her organization wouldn’t even engage with Jews because they were so toxic. And what if that person had looked straight at a Jewish guest of Stewart’s when she said it? What would he have said?

Somehow I don’t think it would be: “If I could finger snap, I would finger snap right now.”

Amid all this fighting was news of a stunning counter-attack. After asking his 80 million Twitter followers what they thought of the status of free speech on the platform, and receiving an overwhelming response that it was poor, Musk bought a 9.2% stake in the company for US$ 2.9 billion dollars, making him the largest shareholder and likely catapulting him onto the Board of Directors.

We’ll have to wait and see what influence he has. While significant, the shareholding is far short of control and BOD members are not management; they don’t manage the day-to-day functions of the company. On top of that, as this article pointed out before Musk pulled the trigger, there are a number of big roadblocks in returning Twitter to being the free speech platform it was a decade ago, and we know they exist because they are what changed it. The article details four steps and shows how they worked before and could work again – possibly destroying Musk in the process.

  1. Blame the platform for its users.
  2. Coordinated pressure campaigns
  3. Exodus of the Bluechecks
  4. Deplatforming

Still it was nice to see that it triggered an immediate meltdown across the Lefty Social Media Sphere, especially among the Twitter workers themselves.

Maybe they should hire Bill Maher to provide worker tension-relief exercises once a week. They might even learn to laugh.

The Beta President

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An equally appropriate title for what happened to President Biden the other day would be The Pitiful President, but I’d already used that title, and given that an actual Alpha President was the cause of the sad videos of Joe Biden this title works.

It must have seemed like a good idea by Biden’s handlers to invite a true Democrat superstar to the White House, celebrate something and hope it boosts the failing polls of both Biden and his Democrats.

Former President Barack Obama was the obvious choice. A two-term winner, the first Black President (his White ancestry never counted), charismatic with D.C. and Democrat insiders; Obama has it all and is the only such Democrat at the moment, Bill Clinton’s star having faded with Obama’s ascension in 2008.

All that was needed was something to celebrate and given the dearth of any real legislative or foreign policy accomplishments on Obama’s watch (something bitterly noted by US Leftists) the only real choice of topic was the Affordable Care Act, (better known as Obamacare: check out the Lefty take on it at that Wiki link), passed in 2010.

But I wonder if anybody in the Biden Whitehouse had second thoughts that their guy might be overshadowed, given Obama’s status and charisma, not to mention that his ego and known lack of respect for Biden might come to the fore. If so they didn’t have to wait long for their fears to arrive, with Obama starting off with a little “joke” about Biden’s real standing in the Democrat Party and America.

Sure, sure that was a joke (wink). And an excellent joke too, judging by the long and uproarious laughter from everybody. Given the number of former Obama staffers in Biden’s WH and Obama’s musings about a third term that’s a joke with bite:

If I could make an arrangement where … um…. I had a stand-in, a front man, or front-woman and they had an earpiece in and I was just in my basement in my sweats looking through the stuff and then I could… sorta.. deliver the lines, but somebody else was doing all the talking and ceremony… I’d be fine with that.

But it was after Obama’s speech – filled with the usual “I / Me” references we all grew to know and love during his Presidency, (more than 30 this time)- and Biden’s follow-on speech, that things got really awkward:

Or sad, cringe…old, lost, confused… Pick a word to describe a man who is President of the USA and that nobody wants to talk with or pay attention to when they have a choice. Normally, everyone in the room should be clamoring to be near the American president.  After all, political power is the strongest attractive force in the world. 

Then it got worse, after Biden got his bearings and rejoined the party, he shuffled his way over to the star of the room – the real star – and it did not go well, because Obama is truly a member of the Mean Girl squad; not only was he the centre of gravity in the room, he also made it clear to all others who wasn’t:

Watching Biden paw at Obama’s shoulder only to have Obama aggressively ignore him is uncomfortable viewing. Even if Obama has no respect for the man (and who would, given Biden’s stupidity, incompetence, and corruption?), Obama, of all people, should show respect for the office. But for Obama, the point of the presidency was never about the office itself; it was always about the fact that Obama bestowed glory on the office. His love of himself and the attention he gets was all that mattered.

Meantime it was obvious that Biden could have left the room and nobody would have noticed.

I can’t help thinking that this was also a signal to the entire Democrat Party that Biden is done and its time for him to go. He always was a useful idiot for TPTB in the DNC (Democrat National Committee), with no natural constituency in the Party, saying what he was told to say (even if it was a 180 on what he used to say and support). He did his job in being the only palatable option they could run against Trump in 2020 – True Believer Socialist Bernie Sanders, who has real support from Democrats, being utterly unacceptable to the trust fund millionaires and billionaires. That was the only thing Biden was good for.

It’s nothing personal. It’s a matter of group survival and that’s exactly how the Democratic Party operates. Individuals are irrelevant to the party. The group is all that matters. No one at the DNC actually cares about Joe Biden or ever has.

On some level, Joe Biden knows this. He’s spent his life in the Democratic Party. He’s never worked outside of the Democratic Party, so he understands how this ends. Inevitably, after 50 years, it is his turn to be eliminated.

That’s Tucker Carlson commenting on this fiasco. He also showed the history here, including exactly what the DNC-MSM thought of Biden in 2019 before he became their only option in 2020. Tucker’s amusing rip on the MSM’s 2020/2021 turn-around on Biden, with the Hive Mind repetition of “The adults are back in charge”, is worth watching alone, plus his coverage of the MSM suddenly turning on Biden over his problems around inflation, the Southern Border and crime – and not letting him off the hook with his excuses using Putin. Watch all eleven minutes.

Written by Tom Hunter

April 9, 2022 at 10:42 am

That’s the Way

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Rolling down the track towards 2040…

I’m sure National will be ahead of the Republicans, given how proud Kiwis are about being on the cutting edge of progressivism.

You may scoff but take a look around you in 2022.

That’s Sam Brinton, the new deputy assistant secretary of Spent Fuel and Waste Disposition in the US Energy Department’s Office of Nuclear Energy. He has a dual Master of Science degree in nuclear engineering and technology and policy from MIT, which led him to being a lecturer in the “Physics of Kink” at another university. He’s also into “Pup Play” – and no, I will not be providing a link for that, any more than I’ll be respecting his personal pronouns of they/them.

Then there’s the Disney corporation, which has decided to go full bore on supporting the right of teachers to educate their future Sam Brinton’s about sex – at ages 4-7.

Time for more “slippery slope” arguments.

Meantime the latest Democrat nominee for the Supreme Court apparently cannot say who is a woman. We’re going to have quite a job in front of us cleansing old movies for the future.

In doing so this sense of humour will be vital.

Meantime reality will roll on…

… including elections, though how well they’ll connect with future realities is anyone’s guess.

I’ll leave you with this variation on the first chart.

Written by Tom Hunter

March 30, 2022 at 10:04 am

Posted in Humour

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P. J. O’Rourke is dead (UPDATED)

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I love good satire, which is why I very much miss The DimPost – PM fights off brain-fade accusations being one of his best, plus the one where the Spider God runs for the Epsom seat.

But I enjoy savage satire even more, which is why I’m going to have to explore all the stuff that O’Rourke published, rather than just the couple of books I’ve got, Republican Party Reptile and Give War a Chance.

The former contained two classics: Ferrari Refutes the Decline of the West, and Just One Of Those Days. The former was almost a travelogue of crossing America in a very fast car (it has now been republished by Car and Driver with its original magazine title, Ferrari Reinvents Manifest Destiny. Enjoy), while the latter was O’Rourke poking fun at both sides of the gun debate in America as he has his protagonist experiencing a day’s office work in Manhattan as something more like a day in the life of Beirut, circa 1980’s.

Then there’s this: How to Drive Fast on Drugs While Getting Your Wing-Wang Squeezed and Not Spill Your Drink, published in 1979 in National Lampoon.

Two choice quotes. First…

When it comes to taking chances, some people like to play poker or shoot dice; other people prefer to parachute-jump, go rhino hunting, or climb ice floes, while still others engage in crime or marriage.

But I like to get drunk and drive like a fool. Name me, if you can, a better feeling than the one you get when you’re half a bottle of Chivas in the bag with a gram of coke up your nose and a teenage lovely pulling off her tube top in the next seat over while you’re going a hundred miles an hour down a suburban side street. You’d have to watch the entire Mexican air force crash-land in a liquid petroleum gas storage facility to match this kind of thrill.

Is that any way to have fun? How would your mother feel if she knew you were doing this? She’d cry. She really would. And that’s how you know it’s fun. Anything that makes your mother cry is fun. Sigmund Freud wrote all about this. It’s a well-known fact.

Second, it’s important to have the right kind of girl with you:

Let’s inspect some of the basic maneuvers of drunken driving while you’ve got crazy girls who are on drugs with you. Look for these signs when picking up crazy girls: pierced ears with five or six earrings in them, unusual shoes, white lipstick, extreme thinness, hair that’s less than an inch long, or clothing made of chrome and leather. Stay away from girls who cry a lot or who look like they get pregnant easily or have careers. They may want to do weird stuff in cars, but only in the backseat, and it’s really hard to steer from back there. Besides, they’ll want to get engaged right away afterwards.

But the other kind of girls – there’s no telling what they’ll do. I used to know this girl who weighed about eighty pounds and dressed in skirts that didn’t even cover her underwear, when she wore any. I had this beat-up old Mercedes, and we were off someplace about fifty miles from nowhere on Christmas Eve in a horrible sleetstorm. The road was really a mess, all curves and big ditches, and I was blotto, and the car kept slipping off the pavement and sliding sideways. And just when I’d hit a big patch of glare ice and was frantically spinning the wheel trying to stay out of the oncoming traffic, she said, “I shaved my crotch today – wanna feel?”

I’m laughing with tears reading that for the first time in years, and some of the key lines are unforgettable.

Also this from Matt Labash, linked in the hope of posterity.

Written by Tom Hunter

February 16, 2022 at 1:42 pm

NORAD tracks Brandon

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You’d think that the US MSM had bigger fish to fry, what with the arrival of the dreaded and deadly ZOMG OMICRON mutant of C-19 and all sorts of economic problems in America.

But no.

No, it’s far more important that they rally around their designated godhead to defend him against the slings and arrows of outraged citizens. Or in this case, an amused citizen who decided to have a bit of fun with “President” Biden.

It’s been the tradition since 1955 for NORAD to use their radar systems to track Santa on his way from the North Pole, and this year the “President” decided to join in the fun as little kids across America called in to find out where Santa was. Then this happened:

Oh dear. Over the years we’ve had films and plays centered around the assassinations of Dubya and Trump, and Kathy Griffin posing with Trump’s bloody severed head and a thousand “Fuck Trump” calls from celebrities.

But what this guy did to Biden was far worse; he actually showed that Joe Biden is non compos mentis and in doing so revealed that someone(s) else is running the show. Naked emperor or Frank Morgan behind the curtain. Take your pick.

Or perhaps it’s his wife Jill. You can see the shock register on her face: she knows what the phrase means even if the dementia-ridden old wreck beside her does not. Seriously, do all these people have to keep Soft-Serve Joe insulated from the real world?

The US media promptly had a meltdown and swung into action. Rather than making the lead story about Biden not knowing what the hell is going on, they huffed and puffed about how horrible this was. NBC actually described it as “a Right-wing slur”, which is ironic because it was an NBC reporter who coined the phrase after she claimed she “misheard” chants of “Fuck Joe Biden!” at a NASCAR race, and set the meme in motion.

They were going to find out who this asshole was – and make him pay – and they have. Video of the other end of the call was located on Social Media and the guy was identified as one Jared Schmeck from Oregon:

folks on the left have now used that video to doxx the guy, put a name to the face, and are trying to hurt him at his alleged place of employment. They have his alleged name, the local government job he supposedly has, and that he works for a family business. They’re trying to out him to the government job so that job will take some action against him.

[They] have even posted his real address, the name of his wife, and the names of members of his family. Given the way that people fold like cheap suits when faced with the mob, I don’t doubt that they might be able to get this guy punished in some way by his employer or even fired. They’re also talking about trying to hurt the family business.

Actually this is nothing new. Years ago during his Presidential campaign, Obama was doing the usual neighbourhood meet-and-greet and got into a debate with some guy throwing a football around his front yard with his kid. Barack was in full spread-the-wealth-around mode and the guy did not agree. The guy got doxxed to hell.

A couple of years later some rodeo clown wore an Obama mask (as he had with the masks of other Presidents). Obama could have made a public reference to how it’s a fine old American tradition to mock their leaders but he didn’t, letting his worshippers apply “public pressure” to the rodeo and getting the guy fired. Apparently you can unify a nation while “getting in people’s faces” and “punching back twice as hard.”

Schmeck, is now getting death threats:

“At the end of the day, I have nothing against Mr. Biden, but I am frustrated because I think he can be doing a better job,” said Jared Schmeck, who works for an electric company and was previously a Medford police officer for six years until he resigned in July 2018. “I mean no disrespect to him.”

Oh buddy. If you’re going to go on Social Media the first thing you need to understand is that apologies and explanations are just throwing blood in the water to these SJW assholes. Better to go on the attack by telling these people that they’re just pissed because he pulled back the curtain on a truth they deny.

Written by Tom Hunter

December 28, 2021 at 10:04 am