No Minister

Posts Tagged ‘Black Humour

You just can’t make this stuff up!

Except that it turns out you can.

Or at least the great Tatania McGrath can!.

I’ve referred to Xer before, in the post, No Parody. Only Truth.

But recently Tatania listed a bunch of Xer predictions that had come true.

You can read the Twitter thread where real-life news and press releases from the likes of The New England Journal of Medicine are displayed, but a brief example includes:

TITANIA’ S PREDICTIONS

  • On 22 December 2018, I called for biological sex to be removed from birth certificates.
    • On 17 December 2020, the New England Journal of Medicine concurred.
  • On 1 October 2019, I suggested that young women should be encouraged to travel alone in rural Pakistan.
    • On 12 October 2019, Forbes Magazine concurred.
  • On 19 September 2018, I criticised Julie Andrews (aka Mary Poppins) for chimney soot blackface.
    • On 28 January 2019, the New York Times concurred.

In the face of this the writers of The Onion must surely give up trying to write satire or parody of our world, although the folks at The Babylon Bee seem to be doing well.

Written by Tom Hunter

December 30, 2020 at 6:00 am

Normal Service Has Resumed

God, not even before Christmas Day has ended.

Oh well. This is a political blog after all.

But hopefully some of you will enjoy this variation (there have been many) on a famous American poem about Christmas, A Visit from St. Nicholas (1823). It has been parodied many times.

The poem has been called “arguably the best-known verses ever written by an American” and is largely responsible for some of the conceptions of Santa Claus from the mid-nineteenth century to today. It has had a massive effect on the history of Christmas gift-giving. Before the poem gained wide popularity, American ideas had varied considerably about Saint Nicholas and other Christmastide visitors.

So here we go.

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the land,
not a creature was stirring, for all things were banned.
Opponents were hung on the wide web with care,
in hopes that conformity soon would be theirs.

The children were nestled behind glowing screens,
While visions of childhood danced in their dreams.
And mamma in her ‘kerchief and I in my mask,
Had just settled in from a glum shopping task.

Then out in the lawn, there arose such a clatter,
I flung open the door to see what was the matter.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a little old man, in full hazmat gear.

He stuttered and yawned and tried so to hide it,
I knew in a moment it must be Joe Biden.
More rapid than eagles, his toadies they came,
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name;

“Now Comey, now Brennan, McCabe and uh, Clapper,
On Schiff and on Struck, on Pelosi and Schumer.
We’ll steal this election and tear down that wall,
Then cash away, bash away, dash away all.”

“There’s no Christmas this year, only virus and fear,
We’ll all wear our masks; from each other steer clear.
Till every last monument tumbles and falls,
Then Kamala can be the dear leader of all.”

“With freedom in ruins, our plans are completed,
Now the rest of our communist friends can be seated.”
Then he stumbled and mumbled as he ducked out of sight,
“Happy Earth day to all, and bring on the long night.”

Written by Tom Hunter

December 25, 2020 at 10:10 pm

Posted in Humour, US Politics, USA

Tagged with

Japan still trying to figure out Christmas

Back in the early 90’s when I subscribed to The Economist magazine there was a farewell article by a retiring reporter that mentioned a stint he had in Japan in the 1970’s.

He was well-travelled so rarely suffered from Culture Shock and instead enjoyed the wierd and wonderful differences from his English upbringing.

However, one anecdote I found highly amusing, as did he. Walking past some massive department store street-front windows at Christmas time he noted one display in particular featuring Santa Claus. The Japanese store had almost everything correct; the fake snow, reindeer, the jolly grin and white beard, Rubenesque figure, red suit and so forth. Except for one very prominent thing.

He was nailed to a large cross!

I know that there are not a lot of Christians in Japan but surely the store managers and workers might have known even one with whom they could check the details.

I thought of this story when I saw the following recent photograph of another Japanese Christmas display, that shows they’re no closer to figuring out the event.

Written by Tom Hunter

December 20, 2020 at 3:57 pm

Posted in Humour

Tagged with ,

Satire containing two truths

The best satire is that which delivers a dose of truth to a situation.

This latest from the Babylon Bee does that easily, with two truths.

The first is that most Democrats and Lefties would laugh themselves silly if Trump died of Chinese Sinus Rot disease. Despite their best efforts, Twitter and Facebook could not control the “natural” outpouring of hate after struggling with what already happened.

The second is that New York Governor Andrew Quomo got a lot of old people killed when he panicked early in the face of the disease and cleared them out of hospitals in preparation for the great surge of cases to come – sending them into nursing homes, retirement homes and RTC’s where what was already known to be the most vulnerable populations lived. It’s no wonder his state has 35,000 COVID deaths and a death rate of some 1790 per million population.

And so….

Written by Tom Hunter

October 5, 2020 at 6:03 am

Projection – in IMAX, with Dolby Surround

Hat tip to the great Bernard Black of Black Books for that quote.

There has already been some discussion on our usual Friday post about one of dear old Chris Trotter’s latest outside loops of fancy flight regarding the 1st Adern-Collins debate.

But his latest post is even funnier in having a crack at the various fears that GOP voters in the USA have of a Biden victory. Naturally in any discussion of Trump the context is Hitler. I’ve already left a comment but since he does not always post mine I thought I’ll put something up here instead.

Trump is your President

What I’ve pointed out to Chris is that this is projection of the most obvious kind. The last four years have seen the most hysterical, insane reactions and attacks on any US President in my lifetime. Far worse than the years of BushChimpHitler. Off the charts combinations of conspiracy theories, hidden figures pulling the strings and the scorched earth destruction of all that is precious and holy to the American left.

As just one early example, here is a clip of an episode opening from the US TV series, American Horror Story. When my kids showed this to me I at first assumed that it was merely a brilliant parody.

Sadly no. The writers, director, producers and actors were absolutely serious and really thought all of this – and still do. Watch it; you’ll be laughing for the rest of the day.

I should probably drop the link to Chris.

Written by Tom Hunter

September 25, 2020 at 10:55 am

Breaking the Satire Wall

In movies, TV and theatre there’s a technique called Breaking the Fourth Wall, whereby the characters punch through the wall of the story to talk directly to the audience.

Recent clever examples of this came from the wonderfully clever and crude superhero movie, Deadpool, and The Big Short, where it was also vital in explaining the financial instruments of the GFC. It was also used to great effect by the lead character, Francis Urquhart, in the 1990 British TV series, House of Cards.

I don’t know if there’s anything similar in satire but given that it has begun to seem as if our world is so crazy that it can’t be satirised, there seems to be a need to punch through to something beyond satire?

If there’s one source of satire that might attempt this it’s The Babylon Bee (Your Trusted Source For Christian News), that has far exceeded the previous champion in this category, The Onion, which is sadly a mere shell of itself since selling out to Hillary Clinton.

Thus the Bee produced this mocking view of how they figured CNN would cover Trump’s recent peace deals…

… only to find that the real thing was little different…

FFS. So since reality had once again beaten satire the Bee decided to simply go all the way with Struggling CNN Just Starts Stealing Headlines From The Babylon Bee:

After months of continually trying and failing to produce better fake news than The Babylon Bee, CNN has assigned a team of people to monitor The Babylon Bee’s website daily to determine how they should cover the news for that day. 

Written by Tom Hunter

September 18, 2020 at 3:27 pm

The Moment I Found Out

I published this piece on September 12, 2019 but it’s just too perfect not to post it again today in light of this incredible bullshit from the Labour-led government:

Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern is quite rightly “incredibly angry” at her officials for pushing out incorrect Covid-19 testing information.

My original post was simply a full re-production and link to a brutal piece from the satirical website, The Civilian, that likely will never make the MSM but which deserves much wider coverage, so re-produced in full here.

The moment I found out that you found out, I acted swiftly

By Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern

==================================================================

I am every bit as angry as you are.

I am every bit as disappointed as you must be.

The people with power, oversight and the ability to do something about these processes within the Labour Party should be ashamed. Whoever those people are, I am running out of patience with them, and the way they continually let us down, while helpless people like you and me stand by and can only watch failure after failure.

I can assure you, earnestly, that the moment I found out about the fact that you had found out about the facts, I acted immediately to see what the situation was.

I would never sit on my hands if it ever became apparent to me that something had become apparent to you, and that’s my promise.

I was immensely disappointed to learn that our party president, Nigel Haworth, had conducted himself this way. Again.

If I had foreseen that he could do something like this (again), then I would never have let him get away with it in the first place again.

Some of you are still not satisfied with the extent of my involvement in this, and that’s okay (legally).

But it was only on Monday that I learned that you had learned that Paula Bennett had learned that others had learned, and the moment I heard that others had heard, and that Grant had heard, and that Mike had heard and Rob had heard, then I acted swiftly to wait for Nigel to resign.

I was fixing myself a coffee on Monday night and Clarke said to me “What’s all this about? Didn’t you know about this five weeks ago?”
And I said “I didn’t know the extent of it! I thought it was just bullying!”

I never promised that our party would be free of bullying. Government is about compromise, and we are in a coalition with New Zealand First.

I know that many of you are sceptical of us now, in large part because this has happened not once, but twice. But if you can find it in yourself to put your trust in me once again, then I promise you there will not be a fourth time.

Prophecies

No, not the Philip Glass piece from Koyaanisqatsi.

This one.

….

Over the past few years, we have noticed a disturbing trend in our satire: it comes true. In the beginning, we thought it was just coincidence, but as the fulfilled prophecies continued to stack up, we came to accept the truth. We here at the Babylon Bee have been given the gift of prophetic vision, and it’s time to use that spiritual gift for the good of mankind. 

And just for the hell of it here’s that piece from the movie. Koyaanisqatsi is a Hopi word that means “unbalanced life“, although the full explanation is:

According to Hopi Dictionary: Hopìikwa Lavàytutuveni, the Hopi word koyaanisqatsi (Hopi pronunciation: [kojɑːnisˈkɑtsi]) is defined as “life of moral corruption and turmoil” or “life out of balance”. The prefix koyaanis– means “corrupted” or “chaotic”, and the word qatsi means “life” or “existence”, literally translating koyaanisqatsi as “chaotic life”. The film also defines the word as “crazy life”, “life in turmoil”, “life disintegrating”, and “a state of life that calls for another way of living”.

Written by Tom Hunter

July 23, 2020 at 8:37 am

Posted in Humour

Tagged with ,

Burn Baby, Burn: Hollywood edition

My PhotoI think this fits nicely with my series of articles under the tag Die MSM, Die.

Except this is Hollywood.

Hollywood’s identity crisis: Actors, writers and producers warn of ‘reverse racism’ in the film industry which has created a ‘toxic’ climate for anyone who is a white, middle-age man.

Shaken by #MeToo, paralysed by Covid-19, the $50 billion film industry is finally emerging from a four-month lockdown – only to find a new and very different world, where tension is rising as surely as the thermometer. For if the very public Black Lives Matter protests have polarised America, the silent fallout has now reached Hollywood.

Oh Noes! Somebody call the Whambulance!

The first sign came with one of the most powerful black directors in Hollywood, Oscar-winning Jordan Peele – the man behind box office hits such as Get Out and Us – stated in public that he did not want to hire a leading man who was white.

‘I don’t see myself casting a white dude as the lead in my movie,’ Peele said. ‘Not that I don’t like white dudes. But I’ve seen that movie before.’

As one studio executive responded privately: ‘If a white director said that about hiring a black actor, their career would be over in a heartbeat.’

Ya think? And the result is fear – lots of fear.

“The pendulum has swung so far, everyone is paralysed with fear by the idea anything you say could be misinterpreted and your career ended instantly. There are a lot of hushed conversations going on, but publicly everyone is desperate to be seen to be promoting diversity and too terrified to speak out. It’s imploding: a total meltdown.”

You see Hollywood there were three steps:

Step one: The Sowing

Step two: The Reaping.

Step three: The Burning.

Hollywood is discovering that Step one – which they absolutely loved – is much, much more fun than steps two and three.

They’re in step two now.

You should also watch this YouTube clip by a guy who escaped the industry titans to form his own production company.

The article also covers other such “cancelling” events that have hit little known people, from Gay Pride Parade organisers to Radio Show hosts to professors – and Communists.

30658200-8513727-Civil_servant_Stella_Perrett_had_supplied_edgy_cartoons_for_the_-a-61_1594514208052.jpg

Civil servant Stella Perrett had supplied edgy cartoons for the Communist Morning Star newspaper for years until February 2020 when she found that being on the Left is no protection against cancellation.

 

Written by Tom Hunter

July 15, 2020 at 10:48 am

A Glorious New Dawn Has Broken Over Our Harmonious Society

… With the news that National MP, Jian Yang, is “retiring” from politics in New Zealand.

He announced today that he won’t stand in the 2020 General Election after serving “three rewarding terms” in the National Party caucus.

Funnily enough he announced as recently as March that he was being reselected as a list-only candidate for the party – but true to form that was in a press release for Chinese-language media only.

“Accordingly, I have informed the Party President that I should not be considered by the regional list ranking committee of the Northern Region in its meeting tomorrow, hence my announcement today.”

I do like DPF’s take on this over at Kiwiblog:

Many in National will be relieved at this news. Its not that Dr Yang has even done anything wrong, or been anything other than a loyal MP, but his background has raised issues that frankly are a distraction for National. 

So the resignation and the retirement, while messy in themselves, do tidy up some issues that may have caused problems for National in the future.

The “resignation” being that of Ms Boag… snicker, chuckle…

Meanwhile the People of New Zealand hail Jian Yang’s heroic decision to step down for the greater good of the people and thank him for his unceasing efforts at tidying things up for The Party. The Workers salute Jian Yang’s 五毛 efforts and wish him only great joy and great happiness during his return visits 在天堂之下.

Written by Tom Hunter

July 10, 2020 at 2:32 am