No Minister

Posts Tagged ‘Black Humour

The Moment I Found Out

I published this piece on September 12, 2019 but it’s just too perfect not to post it again today in light of this incredible bullshit from the Labour-led government:

Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern is quite rightly “incredibly angry” at her officials for pushing out incorrect Covid-19 testing information.

My original post was simply a full re-production and link to a brutal piece from the satirical website, The Civilian, that likely will never make the MSM but which deserves much wider coverage, so re-produced in full here.

The moment I found out that you found out, I acted swiftly

By Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern

==================================================================

I am every bit as angry as you are.

I am every bit as disappointed as you must be.

The people with power, oversight and the ability to do something about these processes within the Labour Party should be ashamed. Whoever those people are, I am running out of patience with them, and the way they continually let us down, while helpless people like you and me stand by and can only watch failure after failure.

I can assure you, earnestly, that the moment I found out about the fact that you had found out about the facts, I acted immediately to see what the situation was.

I would never sit on my hands if it ever became apparent to me that something had become apparent to you, and that’s my promise.

I was immensely disappointed to learn that our party president, Nigel Haworth, had conducted himself this way. Again.

If I had foreseen that he could do something like this (again), then I would never have let him get away with it in the first place again.

Some of you are still not satisfied with the extent of my involvement in this, and that’s okay (legally).

But it was only on Monday that I learned that you had learned that Paula Bennett had learned that others had learned, and the moment I heard that others had heard, and that Grant had heard, and that Mike had heard and Rob had heard, then I acted swiftly to wait for Nigel to resign.

I was fixing myself a coffee on Monday night and Clarke said to me “What’s all this about? Didn’t you know about this five weeks ago?”
And I said “I didn’t know the extent of it! I thought it was just bullying!”

I never promised that our party would be free of bullying. Government is about compromise, and we are in a coalition with New Zealand First.

I know that many of you are sceptical of us now, in large part because this has happened not once, but twice. But if you can find it in yourself to put your trust in me once again, then I promise you there will not be a fourth time.

Prophecies

No, not the Philip Glass piece from Koyaanisqatsi.

This one.

….

Over the past few years, we have noticed a disturbing trend in our satire: it comes true. In the beginning, we thought it was just coincidence, but as the fulfilled prophecies continued to stack up, we came to accept the truth. We here at the Babylon Bee have been given the gift of prophetic vision, and it’s time to use that spiritual gift for the good of mankind. 

And just for the hell of it here’s that piece from the movie. Koyaanisqatsi is a Hopi word that means “unbalanced life“, although the full explanation is:

According to Hopi Dictionary: Hopìikwa Lavàytutuveni, the Hopi word koyaanisqatsi (Hopi pronunciation: [kojɑːnisˈkɑtsi]) is defined as “life of moral corruption and turmoil” or “life out of balance”. The prefix koyaanis– means “corrupted” or “chaotic”, and the word qatsi means “life” or “existence”, literally translating koyaanisqatsi as “chaotic life”. The film also defines the word as “crazy life”, “life in turmoil”, “life disintegrating”, and “a state of life that calls for another way of living”.

Written by Tom Hunter

July 23, 2020 at 8:37 am

Posted in Humour

Tagged with ,

Burn Baby, Burn: Hollywood edition

My PhotoI think this fits nicely with my series of articles under the tag Die MSM, Die.

Except this is Hollywood.

Hollywood’s identity crisis: Actors, writers and producers warn of ‘reverse racism’ in the film industry which has created a ‘toxic’ climate for anyone who is a white, middle-age man.

Shaken by #MeToo, paralysed by Covid-19, the $50 billion film industry is finally emerging from a four-month lockdown – only to find a new and very different world, where tension is rising as surely as the thermometer. For if the very public Black Lives Matter protests have polarised America, the silent fallout has now reached Hollywood.

Oh Noes! Somebody call the Whambulance!

The first sign came with one of the most powerful black directors in Hollywood, Oscar-winning Jordan Peele – the man behind box office hits such as Get Out and Us – stated in public that he did not want to hire a leading man who was white.

‘I don’t see myself casting a white dude as the lead in my movie,’ Peele said. ‘Not that I don’t like white dudes. But I’ve seen that movie before.’

As one studio executive responded privately: ‘If a white director said that about hiring a black actor, their career would be over in a heartbeat.’

Ya think? And the result is fear – lots of fear.

“The pendulum has swung so far, everyone is paralysed with fear by the idea anything you say could be misinterpreted and your career ended instantly. There are a lot of hushed conversations going on, but publicly everyone is desperate to be seen to be promoting diversity and too terrified to speak out. It’s imploding: a total meltdown.”

You see Hollywood there were three steps:

Step one: The Sowing

Step two: The Reaping.

Step three: The Burning.

Hollywood is discovering that Step one – which they absolutely loved – is much, much more fun than steps two and three.

They’re in step two now.

You should also watch this YouTube clip by a guy who escaped the industry titans to form his own production company.

The article also covers other such “cancelling” events that have hit little known people, from Gay Pride Parade organisers to Radio Show hosts to professors – and Communists.

30658200-8513727-Civil_servant_Stella_Perrett_had_supplied_edgy_cartoons_for_the_-a-61_1594514208052.jpg

Civil servant Stella Perrett had supplied edgy cartoons for the Communist Morning Star newspaper for years until February 2020 when she found that being on the Left is no protection against cancellation.

 

Written by Tom Hunter

July 15, 2020 at 10:48 am

A Glorious New Dawn Has Broken Over Our Harmonious Society

… With the news that National MP, Jian Yang, is “retiring” from politics in New Zealand.

He announced today that he won’t stand in the 2020 General Election after serving “three rewarding terms” in the National Party caucus.

Funnily enough he announced as recently as March that he was being reselected as a list-only candidate for the party – but true to form that was in a press release for Chinese-language media only.

“Accordingly, I have informed the Party President that I should not be considered by the regional list ranking committee of the Northern Region in its meeting tomorrow, hence my announcement today.”

I do like DPF’s take on this over at Kiwiblog:

Many in National will be relieved at this news. Its not that Dr Yang has even done anything wrong, or been anything other than a loyal MP, but his background has raised issues that frankly are a distraction for National. 

So the resignation and the retirement, while messy in themselves, do tidy up some issues that may have caused problems for National in the future.

The “resignation” being that of Ms Boag… snicker, chuckle…

Meanwhile the People of New Zealand hail Jian Yang’s heroic decision to step down for the greater good of the people and thank him for his unceasing efforts at tidying things up for The Party. The Workers salute Jian Yang’s 五毛 efforts and wish him only great joy and great happiness during his return visits 在天堂之下.

Written by Tom Hunter

July 10, 2020 at 2:32 am

“That wasn’t Anarcho-Communism” – in just two days

Commune Barricade

I don’t know if the news has penetrated all the way down to New Zealand but it seems that the Antifa and BLM groups in Seattle have finally decided to go beyond starting riots and instead try to build something.

Specifically – and very much in the spirit of the 1871 Paris Commune – they’ve decided to create an Anarcho-Communist “state” in the middle of Seattle.

They even took over a Police Station in the area, violently attacking the cops there for several days before the Mayor ordered the Police to abandon the station and effectively yield a six block area to Antifa.

This capitulation didn’t go down too well with the Seattle Police Chief, Carmen Best, who made the following address to her people to make it clear that it was not her decision. She also talks about the incredible physical assault Antifa and other groups made on her officers for days in full “Punch a Nazi” mode:

 

By contrast Antifa and BLM were ecstatic with their victory, naming the area the Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone or CHAZ for short and making it clear that it’s not part of the systemically racist USA:

In some respects they got off to a good start for a new nation, even building a makeshift wall around the place and putting armed people to guard them and interrogate anybody wishing to enter – just like the USA! Maybe Trump should get these guys to build the wall along the Mexican border!

Oh right, they believe in open borders – for everybody else.

Same with firearms too, which apparently are only a scary threat to peace and order when they’re held by NRA members.

Naturally the MSM has been largely spinning for them, as this New York Times report had it:

“What has emerged is an experiment in life without the police – part street festival, part commune. Hundreds have gathered to hear speeches, poetry and music.

On Wednesday, children made chalk drawings in the middle of the street.

The entire area was now a homeland for racial justice — and, depending on the protester one talked to, perhaps something more..”

Ah yes, the echoes of history. Just a week ago I was watching, with my youngest, an episode of Simon Schama’s wonderful TV series A History of Britain, which contained these choice quotes:

 

“And human nature seeming born again.

Unhoused beneath the evening star, we saw
Dances of liberty, and, in late hours
Of darkness, dances in the open air.

We rose at signal given and formed a ring
And, hand in hand, danced round and round the board.
All hearts were open. Every tongue was loud with amity and glee.”


That of course was the poet William Wordsworth, tasting the delights of the early aftermath of the French Revolution in 1789 before … well, you know.

And in keeping with such histories – but taking nowhere near as long as the French did – the utopian world of CHAZ began the dreary, predictable descent.

First up: – food shortages:

 
😆😆😆😆😆
 
But don’t worry kids. They know the ultimate answer to this is to grow your own food:

God that is just so sad! Have these people ever actually planted anything in their lives aside from pipe bombs?   Next up – Meet The New Boss!

Raz Simone was merely a little known rap artist a few days ago but he has guns and is willing to use the sort of violence that the Seattle Police would not, as this Tweet from hernandez1987 @WeAreAntifa2020 showed:

Raz Simone and crew assault a man for tagging. Man said repeatedly he was kicked in the head, punched and had his glasses broken. 

For tagging! Seems harsh but nobody ever said Revolutionary Justice was soft. As this other Tweet showed, some people were a little … shocked:

Policing in the Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone by @RazSimone. There appear to be no body cameras, reports, or oversight and accountability.

Dude! Why would they need cameras and all that shit when they’re not the Police?.

Speaking of which, somebody who observed this assault called… the Seattle Police, who now seem to have the measure of CHAZ as this 911 operator shows with this awesome response:

“Ah,… that appears to be in the New Republic of Capital Hill, they can handle that”

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣  

Raz also knows how to spin such events as well as any government department: The Seattle Police also finally admitted they had received reports of little businesses in the area being “taxed” by CHAZ.

Frankly that word smacks too much of the State, I prefer the old-fashioned term, “Protection Money“.

I think Raz is going to do well although I can’t see such a flamboyant figure calling himself General Secretary, let alone Executive Officer of the Week – with his decisions ratified at a special biweekly meeting by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs but a two-thirds majority in the case of external affairs.

I suspect that he thinks you can wield supreme executive power just because he’s carrying an AK-47.

It also looks like he’s more interested in another role.

Although perhaps he could start building an actual Fire Department…

As with everything else the Far Left touches, they’re finding that it’s much harder to stop a fire than to start one.

Yes, it’s all very funny in a sadly moronic, historical way, and will continue to be so – except for the 500 poor bloody homeowners and businesses in the area.

Tucker Carlson certainly had a lot of fun on the story with, The World Welcomes Its Newest Nation:

I guess none of the CHAZ Antifans and BLM’rs have ever seen the following diagram, but it’s truly appropriate here.

Written by Tom Hunter

June 12, 2020 at 6:00 pm

Carving Up The World Again

My Photo

The Age of Woke is upon us more than ever before, thanks to new graduates who have been marinating in Identity Politics, Critical Theory and the rest of the academic soup that used to fall under the term Political Correctness.
This is not doing the likes of the MSM any favours, as the editors of The New York Times and the Philadelphia Inquirer have recently discovered.
So in these times it’s good to know that some younger folk are retaining some sense of absurd humour, as this recent find on Tumblr shows. It takes an original way of looking at the ideological spectrum and adds some modern detail.

Written by Tom Hunter

June 9, 2020 at 8:53 pm

We’re On Your Side!

If you’re in the mood for a bit of Black Humour today here’s some things that should lighten your feeling as White People discover the limitations of Far Left ideology. Again!

I know, it’s tiresome after 100 million deaths and countless screwed up societies but some people just never learn.

The funniest is this video that has gone viral of two White frat boys giving the big thumbs up to rioters in a US city from their apartment.

Otherwise known as Play Stupid Games: Win Stupid Prizes. I haven’t heard White people this whiny when confronted by violence since Mick Jagger went to his Public Schoolboy accent and tone at Altamont.

Then there is this Antifa twat getting arrested by …. Black Lives Matter protestors. And good on the BLM guys since this little shit was using tools to dig out paving bricks for a protest. This is what Antifa trains to do – and the intention is for Blacks to be blamed for the resulting riot.

Written by Tom Hunter

June 5, 2020 at 10:00 am

Random Fun

Stuff that’s been accumulating with no common theme…

.

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President Putin shares a quiet moment with his successor.
 
 
 
And since a commentator was asking if I was a Pixar fan….
 
 
Speaking of Class Warfare in the 21st century…
 
 
Not that anything really changes on this aspect…
 
 
And along similar lines, but with modern Identity Politics…

 

 
 
 
And finally there are apparently concerns being raised about the impact of the recession on at least one working class profession –  to which Mr Burge has the appropriate response
 

 

Written by Tom Hunter

May 29, 2020 at 2:35 am

Posted in New Zealand

Tagged with , ,

History never repeats?

Oh yes it bloody well does, and with more than rhyming Mr Twain.

In The Vet’s post the other day, What Has Louisa Wall Done To Offend?, he made the point that her being challenged for her seat from within the Labour Party was a mystery given that she ticks so many boxes for them: Maori, Female, Lesbian, smart, high achiever in sport, academia and now politics…

Amidst much discussion some points were made about Chris Trotter’s constant raging against the Identity Politics Warriors like Wall messing up his beloved Class Warfare purity that he thinks Labour should return to. I was reminded of a piece of satire that Danyl McLauchlan wrote a few years ago on his old blog, The DimPost. Once he started writing serious stuff for places like The Spinoff he made his blog private, but thanks to The Wayback Machine, a commentator’s suggestion, and more searching than I usually care to do, I found it: Chris Trotter on Party Central (2010):

So “Party Central” is no longer central to the party that is central to the party at the centre of our party politics. 

Am I the only Kiwi who experiences tightness in my jaw and a numb feeling in my left-arm when I contemplate the disarray that has befallen Auckland governance?

we have all supped from the golden poison chalice of satanic robot run regional and local government only to find ourselves regaining conciousness yet again in our neighbour’s toolshed with our clothes drenched in urine.
 

Danyl really should try satire again, although it may be that he can find no one to pay for it. But it was the next section that I remembered the best:

It was the radical right-wing feminist government of William Massey that spread open the labile pink floodgates of change and swept away the egalitarian order in a wave of capitalist frenzy, separatist Maori entitlement and so-called-women who threaten to press charges because that is what their liberal puppetmasters at our elitist universities have brainwashed them to do. 

Like most real New Zealanders I yearn for the days when our great little country was ruled by stocky, moustached trade-unionists but I fear that those days are gone forever, swept away by a great wave that swept everything away like a wave.

During my history search I found a 2014 article by Trotter advocating pretty much the treatment that Wall is getting, Labour’s Caucus Still In Charge, where he admiringly quotes Matt McCarten from 1988:

“So we should call a special conference of the party and expel them … The Labour Party made a mistake selecting these people so sack them. Throw them out and let them stand against us. They’ll lose and the Labour Party can rebuild itself.”

To be fair, Chris appears to now be in total thrall to “the labile pink floodgates of change“. Funny how  winning elections and obtaining a measure of power can do that.

Speaking of which, during my search I also found an old comment of mine from Kiwiblog in 2011, in a thread which dealt with us losing people to a more successful Australia and DPF’s lament that we need to boost productivity and lift wages.

Shorter message: Vote for us because we suck less than the other guys.

Actually that’s the entire National message as NZ slowly reverses into the 21st century. And it’s an effective one as they undoubtedly know; the smug, cynical response being who else are you going to vote for? 

And they’re correct.

As far as the media coverage is concerned I say to all lefties, welcome to our world circa 2000-2005. The shallow, pathetic coverage of stories combined with gushing over various aspects of [PM Key] is really very little different than in Clark’s time. Sure, there are the blogs but they aren’t there yet in supporting a narrative the way the old MSM still can. 

But don’t worry. National and Key will tire sooner or later, Labour will find some “new” material as candidates and even a fresh leader, the pendulum will swing and you will find yourselves benefiting from exactly the same uselessness of media coverage. 

Yeah. History repeats all right.
 

Written by Tom Hunter

May 26, 2020 at 12:00 pm

Company hires Stasi Agent for security

My PhotoThe headline is not satire. This has actually happened.

Electronic Arts is a major international video game company in California. It’s responsible for blockbuster games like The Sims, FIFA, Madden NFL, and Battlefield. It was founded in 1982 and is a $5 billion operation, making it one of the biggest gaming companies in the world.

In case you’re wondering why this matters you should note that the video game industry generates more money annually than the film and music industries combined. Just one of the E-commerce sites selling games – Steam – has a billion customers, yet is nowhere near as well known as Facebook or Twitter.

Electronic Arts is a game development company and they have offices around the world, including one in Berlin, and in recent years they’ve been getting very concerned and the racism and fascism of online gamers, but what they’ve done to try and combat this is worse than the disease!!

The Berlin office recently announced it was partnering with the Amadeu Antonio Foundation and its program “Keine Pixel für Faschisten” [No Pixels for Fascists]. The program seeks to monitor political beliefs in the video game industry and among players for “racism, sexism, and anti-semitism.”

Anetta Kahane (aka Rosa Kleb)

The thing is that this foundation was founded and is headed by one Anetta Kahane:

Anetta Kahane (born 1954 in East Berlin) is a German journalist, author and activist against antisemitism, racism and right-wing extremism. 

Well, that sounds reasonable enough. Just the sort of person you would expect to head such a group. There’s just one other thing about her:

From 1974 to 1982 she was an unofficial collaborator for the East German Stasi secret police.

Lovely. Recently I’ve made some jokes about these little offizieller Mitarbeiter’s who made the whole shitty system of the Stasi work in monitoring and controlling the East German people, but here’s one in real life who has gone on to success.

Doing what she always did in policing people’s thoughts.

At its height, the Stasi had over 102,000 officers and nearly a quarter of a million of its own citizens spying on family members, neighbours and colleagues for wrongthink! And she was good at her job, as revealed in this 2019 German news report, where her Stasi work was revealed from the enormous pile of Stasi records that has been fascinating and horrifying Germans since 1991 as researchers plough through it (great record keepers of crime the Communists).

Kahane was considered an excellent asset who was enthusiastic in the performance of her work. She produced intimate information to the Government on the lives of her friends, family, journalists, and even Chilean immigrants fleeing the fascist Pinochet regime. She also wrote extensive reports detailing people’s private lives, from weddings to teenager’s birthday parties.

Her information also led to the “denunciation” of two actors who criticised the East German regime. Thomas and Klaus Brasch were labeled “enemies of the GDR” by her in 1976. Thomas managed to successfully flee to West Germany, but Klaus committed suicide in 1980 as a result of being spyed upon and harassed endlessly by the Stasi.

And yet what friends she has. Several years ago German Chancellor Angela Merkel, issued a personal video in support of Kahane’s “361 Degrees Tolerance” project, and Merkel is just one of her influential supporters who have stuck by her in the face of previous controversies.

In 2016, Dr. Hubertus Knabe, a historian and the Director of the Hohenschönhausen Stasi victims Memorial Foundation, ripped into the German Ministry of Justice for hiring Kahane and her foundation as part of their efforts to combat “hate speech”. He said it was “incomprehensible” that she had been given “the sensitive task” of “controlling the Internet.”

In 2018, there was actually a public outcry when Kahane and her foundation published an information booklet for school teachers and early-age educators aimed at identifying “Nazi parents.” The booklet suggested blonde girls wearing braids and boys being athletic were signs that children should be monitored for potential removal from the home.

What a piece of work she is. True human garbage who belongs in the same pile as the fascists and Nazi’s she supposedly hunts.

Now to be fair it is probably hard to come by the sort of thought-policing experience that years with the Stasi would give you and EA probably thought hiring an ex-KGB agent would be a step too far. But really? They couldn’t find any other groups or people less tainted as oppressors to do this work?

It’s amazing how many organisations like EA, and people – across the political spectrum – seem to genuinely prefer secret policing of thought crimes against the possibility that someone, somewhere, might call them racist and fascist.

Written by Tom Hunter

May 17, 2020 at 9:09 pm