No Minister

Posts Tagged ‘Satire

P. J. O’Rourke is dead (UPDATED)

I love good satire, which is why I very much miss The DimPost – PM fights off brain-fade accusations being one of his best, plus the one where the Spider God runs for the Epsom seat.

But I enjoy savage satire even more, which is why I’m going to have to explore all the stuff that O’Rourke published, rather than just the couple of books I’ve got, Republican Party Reptile and Give War a Chance.

The former contained two classics: Ferrari Refutes the Decline of the West, and Just One Of Those Days. The former was almost a travelogue of crossing America in a very fast car (it has now been republished by Car and Driver with its original magazine title, Ferrari Reinvents Manifest Destiny. Enjoy), while the latter was O’Rourke poking fun at both sides of the gun debate in America as he has his protagonist experiencing a day’s office work in Manhattan as something more like a day in the life of Beirut, circa 1980’s.

Then there’s this: How to Drive Fast on Drugs While Getting Your Wing-Wang Squeezed and Not Spill Your Drink, published in 1979 in National Lampoon.

Two choice quotes. First…

When it comes to taking chances, some people like to play poker or shoot dice; other people prefer to parachute-jump, go rhino hunting, or climb ice floes, while still others engage in crime or marriage.

But I like to get drunk and drive like a fool. Name me, if you can, a better feeling than the one you get when you’re half a bottle of Chivas in the bag with a gram of coke up your nose and a teenage lovely pulling off her tube top in the next seat over while you’re going a hundred miles an hour down a suburban side street. You’d have to watch the entire Mexican air force crash-land in a liquid petroleum gas storage facility to match this kind of thrill.

Is that any way to have fun? How would your mother feel if she knew you were doing this? She’d cry. She really would. And that’s how you know it’s fun. Anything that makes your mother cry is fun. Sigmund Freud wrote all about this. It’s a well-known fact.

Second, it’s important to have the right kind of girl with you:

Let’s inspect some of the basic maneuvers of drunken driving while you’ve got crazy girls who are on drugs with you. Look for these signs when picking up crazy girls: pierced ears with five or six earrings in them, unusual shoes, white lipstick, extreme thinness, hair that’s less than an inch long, or clothing made of chrome and leather. Stay away from girls who cry a lot or who look like they get pregnant easily or have careers. They may want to do weird stuff in cars, but only in the backseat, and it’s really hard to steer from back there. Besides, they’ll want to get engaged right away afterwards.

But the other kind of girls – there’s no telling what they’ll do. I used to know this girl who weighed about eighty pounds and dressed in skirts that didn’t even cover her underwear, when she wore any. I had this beat-up old Mercedes, and we were off someplace about fifty miles from nowhere on Christmas Eve in a horrible sleetstorm. The road was really a mess, all curves and big ditches, and I was blotto, and the car kept slipping off the pavement and sliding sideways. And just when I’d hit a big patch of glare ice and was frantically spinning the wheel trying to stay out of the oncoming traffic, she said, “I shaved my crotch today – wanna feel?”

I’m laughing with tears reading that for the first time in years, and some of the key lines are unforgettable.

Also this from Matt Labash, linked in the hope of posterity.

Written by Tom Hunter

February 16, 2022 at 1:42 pm

Downfall – of a Speaker

Otherwise known as Hitler wants the protestors off his lawn.

Downfall parodies vary greatly in quality, but this one is very good, better than the one about Jacinda facing the Delta outbreak last year, which was pretty good itself.

Written by Tom Hunter

February 16, 2022 at 11:21 am

Posted in Humour, New Zealand

Tagged with , ,

Bad news for White Supremacists

You know that little symbol you’ve been using to communicate with eachother as a symbol of White Power?

The symbol that the Democrats, the US Left and the MSM (but I repeat myself), all went apeshit about after Trump became President?

This sign =>

Well, bad news haters. It turns out that’s wrong. We know this now, not just because President Biden used it in his poorly viewed train wreck of a “Town hall” meeting on CNN the other night,…

… but also because people who tried to claim he was flashing the WP sign have been…. fact checked! By none other than Politifact!

This started when Twitter account called “Libs of Tik Tok” – who specialise in having fun with earnest US “Liberals” – tweeted the following: bonus points to them for using the Internet meme, “literally shaking”.

Given that we live in a world where the satirical site, Babylon Bee, has found itself being “fact-checked” as a result of dealing with clueless journalists, the following should not have been a surprise, yet it still was:

Wow! Thanks for that “Fact-checkers”. Without you, clueless morons might have thought that was a real accusation. However, they did do one good thing, which was to provide some background to the nonsense of how the traditional “Okay” sign ended up being a White Power symbol.

First, a word of caution about interpreting that gesture as a white power gesture. According to the Anti-Defamation League, in 2017, members of the website 4chan falsely claimed that it represented the letters “WP” for “white power.”

“The hoaxers hoped that the media and liberals would overreact by condemning a common image as white supremacist,” the Anti-Defamation League says in this article explaining the gesture.

Hoped? That’s exactly what the dumbfucks of the US MSM and “liberals” did do – to the utter delight of the 4chan gang, who do such things on a regular basis to demonstrate how screwed up the MSM-Liberal alliance is. Why it’s as if they and the ADL don’t even know they’re being played.

While overwhelmingly people use the gesture to signify assent or approval, “as well as other usages unrelated to white supremacy,” the league says, it has also been used as a sincere expression of white supremacy.

In this case, however, the context makes clear that Biden is using the gesture to illustrate the number zero, as in how many cents he said some corporations pay in taxes.

Oh! So now “context matters.” Fantastic. It just so happens that context suddenly “matters” when a Democrat does it. Context didn’t matter for the last few years when Republican politicians, activists and even ordinary, random dudes on TV flashed it and got attacked, smeared, and in some cases canceled by online outrage mobs.

You only have to imagine the response had Trump done this. The irony is that Biden was quite happy in his early 70’s Senate career to pal around with Democrat Senators who were outright segregationists and White Supremacists.

The random online FaceTwit mobs are bad enough, but once again we see that the MSM “fact checkers” could not be more transparent in their Lefty and partisan bias.

Written by Tom Hunter

October 25, 2021 at 2:33 pm

At last, some serious commentary

As a serious political commentator this is what I’ve been waiting for.

If you thought photoshopping Jacinda into Der Führer’s uniform was bad, well,,,,, it looks like somebody has finally taken the classic Downfall bunker scene – a clip that has been the source of so many parodies over the years that it has its own YouTube channel – and applied it to our beloved Prime Minister (and her little friends).

As Downfall parodies go this one’s pretty good although I hate the caption font. There’s one slip up on a caption vs audio bit but they actually manage to get the reference to Stalin placed correctly, which most don’t bother with.

As ever, fluent speakers of German will not be able to enjoy this (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!)

Ganz gave what most people consider the most accurate and greatest portrayal of Adolf Hitler on screen, in the 2004 movie Downfall, which focuses on the final days of the Third Reich in the Berlin “Fuhrerbunker”.

The most famous scene in the movie – the one above – was where Hitler loses the plot completely. He finds out that one of his generals, Steiner, has not carried out the counter-attack Hitler ordered and accuses Steiner of simply refusing the order. He goes on to accuse all the Wehrmacht generals of being cowards and having constantly betrayed and lied to him, and so forth. It’s a terrifyingly awesome and yet pathetic meltdown.

And it was made for parody.

We’ll see how long this stays up before some member of the Branch Covidian cult demands it be taken down.

Written by Tom Hunter

October 23, 2021 at 1:55 pm

NKVD or Gestapo: which fits better?

I’m going to add the following two photoshopped pictures to the media library of No Minister where they can be used by other authors here in their posts, since the rest of the NM collective focuses on New Zealand.

But I thought I’d give readers an opportunity to debate which one is the more suitable.

First up is the classic: Der Führer Jacinda.

We all know this one. That armband swastika really jumps out at you and the Nazis are the go-to boogeyman in every fictional TV show and movie that deals with the past century, or connects our present – and sometimes our future – with totalitarian regimes.

But I always feel that this comparison is too easy, even if in our present situation we have a government using the private sector to work its will.

So to our second choice. General Secretary Adern.

Personally this one is my preference simply to balance up the totalitarian comparison game. Admittedly we’re also more into the dreary world of the Stasi than the mass murdering NKVD, given how New Zealand is operating with the use of willing Informeller Mitarbeiters.

I suppose Jacinda in a Mao suit might be even more appropriate, given how we kowtow to the CCP nowadays. I’ll talk to the photoshop artist.

Written by Tom Hunter

October 23, 2021 at 6:38 am

Ave Jacinda

The FBPM held a press conference this morning.

I’m announcing and end to lockdowns for New Zealand. All restrictions will be lifted when the government achieves a 100% immortality rate amongst New Zealanders.

This will be done in two ways.

First, we are introducing legislation to ban death. The obnoxious practice of dying must be stamped out and those found indulging in it will be liable for a term of imprisonment of two years.

Second, we will establish a working party of dead heads from our trade unions, iwi, prisons and universities to recommend a sustainable way forward.

This is a unique and far reaching policy, No longer will Kiwis need to go to Church on Sundays. Just vote for Jacinda Christ.

You don’t seriously think this is satire, do you?

Written by adolffinkensen

September 9, 2021 at 11:49 am

Posted in New Zealand

Tagged with

An Obituary

Winston Raymond Peters

(They say one should not speak ill of the dead, so I’m getting in before his liver fails.)

A sawn off termite infested Cyprus Pine has fallen over in the bush. And nobody noticed. Winston Peters at last has died but his Maker wouldn’t meet him, claiming everyone’s entitled to one mistake.

In all the history of New Zealand, no man showed such initial promise yet delivered so little of value in over fifty years. Not even Tim Shadbolt could match such a record.

During the early 1970s Peters captained the Auckland Maori Rugby team, a remarkable achievement for a person who through out his life displayed no aptitude for teamwork or leadership. Adolf is unable to discover any record of the number of matches won under his captaincy. One senses this sporting pinnacle did not adorn is CV.

A lazy halfbreed bullshitter and accomplished liar from the swamps of Northland, he is reputed to have always worn red ankle socks when ‘interviewing’ nubile female candidates for NZFirst preselection. (Adolf subsequently met one of those rejected.)

It takes a unique political skill to combine corruption, pork barreling, horse wankering and fishy business all in one go but Peters managed it with the scampi affair, the Owen Glen saga and the Hogan/Vella shenanigans.

Peters will be remembered only for his introduction of kindergarten antics to political debate. When asked if he or Winston First had received a donation from Owen Glenn, Peters held up a large “No” sign for the cameras, only to have the lie promptly rebutted by Mr Glenn himself.

Long may he rot in Hell.

Written by adolffinkensen

August 14, 2021 at 9:58 am

Posted in New Zealand

Tagged with

Satire containing two truths

The best satire is that which delivers a dose of truth to a situation.

This latest from the Babylon Bee does that easily, with two truths.

The first is that most Democrats and Lefties would laugh themselves silly if Trump died of Chinese Sinus Rot disease. Despite their best efforts, Twitter and Facebook could not control the “natural” outpouring of hate after struggling with what already happened.

The second is that New York Governor Andrew Quomo got a lot of old people killed when he panicked early in the face of the disease and cleared them out of hospitals in preparation for the great surge of cases to come – sending them into nursing homes, retirement homes and RTC’s where what was already known to be the most vulnerable populations lived. It’s no wonder his state has 35,000 COVID deaths and a death rate of some 1790 per million population.

And so….

Written by Tom Hunter

October 5, 2020 at 6:03 am

Breaking the Satire Wall

In movies, TV and theatre there’s a technique called Breaking the Fourth Wall, whereby the characters punch through the wall of the story to talk directly to the audience.

Recent clever examples of this came from the wonderfully clever and crude superhero movie, Deadpool, and The Big Short, where it was also vital in explaining the financial instruments of the GFC. It was also used to great effect by the lead character, Francis Urquhart, in the 1990 British TV series, House of Cards.

I don’t know if there’s anything similar in satire but given that it has begun to seem as if our world is so crazy that it can’t be satirised, there seems to be a need to punch through to something beyond satire?

If there’s one source of satire that might attempt this it’s The Babylon Bee (Your Trusted Source For Christian News), that has far exceeded the previous champion in this category, The Onion, which is sadly a mere shell of itself since selling out to Hillary Clinton.

Thus the Bee produced this mocking view of how they figured CNN would cover Trump’s recent peace deals…

… only to find that the real thing was little different…

FFS. So since reality had once again beaten satire the Bee decided to simply go all the way with Struggling CNN Just Starts Stealing Headlines From The Babylon Bee:

After months of continually trying and failing to produce better fake news than The Babylon Bee, CNN has assigned a team of people to monitor The Babylon Bee’s website daily to determine how they should cover the news for that day. 

Written by Tom Hunter

September 18, 2020 at 3:27 pm

Run Tom, Run

A few days ago the rap musician Kanye West announced that he is running for President in 2020.

You can read his interview here in Forbes.

It’s…. interesting:

  • Planned Parenthood’s have been placed inside cities by white supremacists to do the Devil’s work”,
  • To say that the Black vote is Democratic is a form of racism and white supremacy”.
  • His White House organisational model would be based on the secret country of Wakanda in the movie Black Panther.

And speaking of movies this set other people to thinking that another guy might have a better shot at it in 2020.

Written by Tom Hunter

July 9, 2020 at 11:14 pm