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Posts Tagged ‘Black Humour

According to Medical Experts, these people are not insane.

You see, the screen capture here is that of a joke. Some fun being made of people driven insane with fear by the Chinese Lung Rot virus.

Unfortunately once you’ve finished chuckling at that, or perhaps a Babylon Bee satire on such things, you then have to face the dreadful reality that there are such people.

And they walk among us – not spreading the Xi Snot virus of course, but something much worse.

Insanity

Perhaps this is the grim, forseeable future that Mr Baker warned about the other day?

The Truth shall set you free

One of the great things about our age is the tremendous amount of computer power available to ordinary people, enabling them to do the sort of work that even ten or twenty years ago would have required rooms full of servers costings millions of dollars.

Fifty years ago it would not have been possible to edit video without a building full of hard-wired machinery, plus a stack of experts.

But now, someone with a sense of fun and plenty of time on their hands can produce the following. Enjoy pricking the balloon of our pompous leading buffoons.

Written by Tom Hunter

September 2, 2021 at 5:18 pm

Posted in Australia, Humour

Tagged with

Your new Taliban 2.0

Salaam Alaikum.

You’ve been that friend who rejoices with friends in their good times and sticks with them through the bad times. 

Congratulations on your purchase and installation of the new Taliban 2.0 Operating System.

We realise that twenty years is a long time to wait for an upgrade but thanks to a donation of $1 trillion from US taxpayers and a lot of blood, toil, tears and sweat (mainly blood), we’re back.

And better than ever.

The original Taliban OS was specifically designed to run on the Afghan hardware platform, and while this is still the best fit we are making great strides in enabling the OS to be rigid and powerful enough to bend any environment to its will.

The key performance OS component supporting this functionality is the Sharia Law Memory Management system, which allows you to select and wipe away any development since the 7th century. In particular the system can quickly render 57 Western genders into just two: male and breeding stock.

Backing this up is a new and more powerful Loading and Execution engine which enables thousands of non-conforming hardware units to be quickly deleted, based on your customisable preferences, thus enabling a clean reset of your hardware environment whenever desired.

The LE engine has been combined with advances in Security Management, with the new Door-To-Door biometric track and trace function, which enables surgical precision in wiping out incompatible hardware while still allowing mass deletions if so desired.

The Device Management engine has also been significantly enhanced. We know how well you’ve done with backpacks, mules, AK-74s and RPGs. But think what you’ll be able to do with BlackHawk and Mi-17 helicopters, A-29 Super Tucano attack planes, $3 million ScanEagle drones, armoured Humvees and MRAPs.

However, the advance of which we are most proud has been with the I/O Management function which enables Taliban 2.0 to know more about the outside world, specifically Americans, than they know about Taliban 2.0.

These features allow Taliban 2.0 to smoothly integrate with most Social Media apps. This integration is even superior to that of former President “Cursed Infidel Slayer” Trump, such is the degree of functional conformity between Taliban 2.0 and the likes of Twitter and Facebook.

Included at no cost in your package is a 24/7/365 public relations support centre, SIG (Submissive Infidel Dogs), which includes the Washington Post and other Bacha Bazi.

But the key advance here is the Gen 21 Trolling Shit Post feature which will enable you to mercilessly mock your loser Western enemies even as they grovel at your feet asking about the “existential crisis” they’re sure you’re suffering from in the light of total victory. Here are just two examples of this powerful feature.

In the first, the Gen 21 TSP has taken the images on the left of the ambulatory root vegetable known as “President” Biden licking ice cream while being fellated about it by the US MSM – and converted them into fun pix of yourselves with your ice creams, all while deleting the disgusting acts of fellation.

In the second example the I/O Management engine has worked with the Device Management engine to clothe Holy Warriors in US combat gear and then rendered them and our company logo from a famous historic US memory.

Your trolling mockery of the USA will never stop with Gen 21 TSP.

Finally, if you – or more likely your “friends” – happen to be in the USA on a mission and need assistance all you have to do is contact us, use our American slogan, “BennyDrama7”,** and we’ll give you all the support you need while getting out of your way as quickly as possible.

Allahu Akbar.

** CAUTION: It is essential that you not eat for 24 hours before clicking on BennyDrama7.

Written by Tom Hunter

August 23, 2021 at 6:00 am

“An idea is like a virus,

…resilient, highly contagious and the smallest seed of an idea can grow. It can grow to define or destroy you”.

Ideas like lockdowns of entire national populations for example, even – or should I say especially – in Western democracies, having spread from the dominant global superpower, China.

Most Western democracies in fact, since “democracy” is increasingly something to chuckle about, especially at election time, rather like the term “post-Covid-19 world”.

Widely vaccinated Britain recorded 26,852 new cases on Tuesday. For New Zealand to experience a similar infection rate, it would need to record around 1,900 cases per day.”

The NZ government, the local MSM, and probably much of the population, would have heart attacks if we had 1900 cases per day. Mind you, that would remove the source of the virus – the idea virus that is.

Future Communist leaders will surely see that claiming a Public Health Emergency is much the most effective way of screwing over every other law of the land, mainly because it’s far superior to trying to do so via cultivating envy of your neighbour’s property or demonising capitalist counter-revolutionaries. With Public Health Emergencies you can actually enlist much of the population to be help as your willing executioners.

The sense of power and control over others is overwhelming, especially when added to self-righteousness. In the case of the talking-to-your-neighbours-will-kill-granny idea, that spread faster than the Delta virus from Australia to New Zealand. It had barely emerged from the mouth of the NSW Chief health wallah than it dropped out of the mouth of the New Zealand Prime Minister.

An idea is like a virus…

So to Australia, where it seems the natives are getting a bit restless, being locked up in their homes and all.

At least they were using pepper spray against adults this time, rather than 12-year old kids.

Beria would certainly have appreciated the following, although he may have thought the uniforms a bit too clunky.

You’d think you were watching a scene from some Middle Eastern dictatorship, but no, that’s Australia.

“Beachgoers sneaking out during Sydney’s Covid lockdown to soak up some winter sun have been sensationally lambasted by a hovering police helicopter,” The Daily Mail wrote. “Footage uploaded to TikTok shows officers in a chopper demanding sunbathers pack up and leave Gordon’s Bay … or be hit with fines for breaking stay-at-home orders.”

Remember: grandma could die if you step outside your homes and talk to your neighbours.

How about Germany?

Apparently Germany is going to introduce vaccine passports. Mind you they’ve got form on this sort of thing. Chancellor Angela Merkel’s chief of staff Helge Braun stated that unvaccinated people, even if they test negative for Covid, would not be allowed to go to venues like restaurants, cinemas, or stadiums, because “the risk to everyone else is too high.”

I’m sure there are other anti-vaccination arguments that could be put forward, but announcements like that are probably the most effective of all.

France:

Some 3,000 security forces have been deployed around Paris in anticipation of more protests against the “health pass”, which will be required soon to enter restaurants and other places. The system — likened to vaccine passports — goes into effect on Aug. 9.

A teacher protesting in Paris told The Guardian that the health pass policy is creating segregation in France: “We’re creating a segregated society, and I think it is unbelievable to be doing this in the country of human rights. So I took to the streets; I have never protested before in my life … I think our freedom is in danger.”

I think you’re a bit late sweetie.

Italy:

… thousands of anti-vaccine-pass demonstrators marched in cities, including Rome, Milan, and Naples. Milan demonstrators stopped outside of the city’s courthouse chanting “Truth!” “Shame!” and “Liberty!” In Rome, they marched behind a banner reading “Resistance.”

Italian authorities have also approved the implementation of a health pass to enter bars, restaurants, and other venues. Critics of the measure argue that it’s draconian and infringes on basic personal liberties.

What’s the point of civil liberties and “freedum” if you’re dead: that’s the argument right?

English writer Mervyn Peake said “To live at all is miracle enough.” It’s a good line and I’ve quoted it for years, but but now I see merely to live at all is not enough, not nearly.

A caged bird is alive but without the freedom to fly the Limitless sky, it is denied everything that makes a bird in the first place. To be alive is not enough. What matters is to live in freedom. A bird is such a fragile creature. It’s really all and only about movement. Take away a bird’s movement and it’s a handful of feathers and air.

More Insanity for your delight

Well you may not be delighted at the first item, especially if you have kids looking for a house in New Zealand.

I’ve removed the name of the real estate company as I see no reason to give them free advertising after they dropped this through our mailbox the other day.

A 71% increase above the CV. Obviously the house and other structures on the site are worth nothing.

This is not a flash area, even by the moderate standards of Glenn Innes in Auckland, yet this is what’s happening even there. They’re also quite open about land banking and development, as if things like the “brightline test” and no longer being able to deduct expenses as a renter just don’t amount to a speed bump.

That’s because these are companies with teams of lawyers and accountants, and there is no limit to how “money” can be shuffled around to avoid the prescriptive revenge of Leftist governments.

Friends of ours, a Russian immigrant family we met twenty years ago when they landed in NZ at the same time we did, lived in this very street until last year and after years of scrimping and penny pinching, did well enough out of this insanity to be able to buy a section not far away and build a new house. Given the racism from their neighbours that they had to put up with for years they were glad to go.

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The second item is something we all try to avoid, getting tangled up in government bureaucracy – and death.

Many years ago I laughed at one of the crazy stories from the book Catch 22. One of the characters, Doc Daneeka, is gaming extra income by getting flight pay via signing up to fly on standard shakedown flights of bombers that have been repaired. A quick flight around the base and it’s all good, but Daneeka doesn’t even want to do that and the pilots let it slide. Then one of these bomber flights – with his name on the roster – crashes into a nearby mountain in full view of the base. “Poor Doc Daneeka” says one man, even as the Doc, standing beside him, is saying, “but I’m right here”. He ends up living in a ripped up tent on the edge of the base, stealing food wherever he can. Even the amoral capitalist genius of Milo Minderbinder and the evil bureaucratic genius of PFC Wintergreen, cannot resurrect him. It gets to the point that people ignore him when he speaks to them. He also just vanishes from the story eventually, his true fate unknown.

Meet the modern French version of the Doc, Jeanne Pouchain, and marvel at real-life insanity.

‘They said I don’t exist. But I am here’ – one woman’s battle to prove she isn’t dead.

The letter informed her that a lawyer in a court case relating to her cleaning business had told the court that she had died, aged 53, in February 2016. Somehow, this unverified claim – there was no official death certificate, how could there be? – was allowed to go unchecked and unchallenged.

The thing that really gets me is that a relatively minor court could let this happen, but somehow higher courts and supposed authorities can’t seem to reverse the process:

Several courts, including the Cour de Cassation, the highest in the French judicial system, have examined the case and conceded there appeared to be “irregularities”, but deemed it was beyond their competence to bring Pouchain back from the dead. So who can? Pouchain’s local MP’s office tells me they have taken up her case. The MP, Valéria Faure-Muntian, told Pouchain she has spoken to the justice minister, Éric Dupond-Moretti, who is a member of the French bar and will keep a close eye on the case.

Aside from frozen bank accounts and not being able to access the French healthcare system, there’s also ordinary things like not having a passport and a driver’s licence, which crimp your lifestyle to say they least, although when I read this bit …

Then [the gendarme] looked on the central database and he said, ‘I wouldn’t drive if I were you, because you don’t exist. You don’t have a licence.’”

Ok. So what happens if they arrest her for that? Or for anything really? How can you charge a dead person with a crime, convict them and send them to jail? Perhaps she should have tried getting the system to fight itself to a resolution.

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The last concerns the hopeless story creation in Hollywood in the last twenty years, with a seemingly endless line of re-boots, sequels and super-hero movies being made – and starting to sag in box-office returns.

Somebody on social media decided to spark some ideas using merely the photos of two actresses.

Written by Tom Hunter

July 11, 2021 at 4:00 pm

I preferred it when his brain just froze

The Powerline guys have this right when they titled a post, “Our Bizarre President”.

They’re correct. Biden’s latest answers to questions in a press conference exhibits behaviour that can only be described by that word.

FFS, this is just painful. What the hell was working through his few remaining neurons that made him think that this is how a President answers questions. Was he trying to be funny? Was it a signature pickup line for Senators when he was hanging with Ted Kennedy, Chris Dodd and waitresses?

This guy has the nuclear codes. To think that in the 1980’s many of the same people, likely including Biden, were constantly ragging on Reagan’s age and mental fitness, who are now as quiet as mice when watching this pathetic old fossil.

I like Kamala Harris about as much as the average Democrat voter does and there’s no question that a political lifetime in the safe, Deep Blue regions of California has resulted in her being an unusually poor politician. Given her lousy treatment of people being prosecuted by that state’s Department of Justice when she was the Attorney General, plus that god-awful laugh when she’s cornered I think it’s fair to say that she’s an awful person as well.

But sooner or later she has to replace this guy as President – before a crisis hits. There’s only so much that can be run by committee.

Just on those brain freezes, there’s plenty to pick from but this is the latest, courtesy of the G7 meeting with a full ten seconds of blank. But it’s still better than the first clip.

Written by Tom Hunter

June 25, 2021 at 5:24 pm

Graphics that needed more thought

I really don’t think that the people who developed this little graphic for Pride Month applied enough thinking to it.

But then you need an awareness of the wider world and a sense of history to do that.

Written by Tom Hunter

June 15, 2021 at 7:33 pm

Posted in History, Islam, Middle East

Tagged with

The North Face: an outstanding company

I don’t think I own any North Face gear, or ever have, though I do think their line of outdoor clothing is stylish.

Apparently the company likes stylish things across the board, especially those which let its customers know that it cares about more than just profits, but the Earth itself:

Innovex is based in Houston and has nearly 100 workers in the Permian Basin.

Each year, the company gets a Christmas gift for its employees. This year, it was supposed to be a North Face jacket with an Innovex logo, a company Innovex has ordered gear from in the past.

The company providing the jackets said The North Face doesn’t want to support the oil and gas industry in the same way they’d reject the porn industry or tobacco industry.

“They told us we did not meet their brand standards,” Innovex CEO Anderson said. “We were separately informed that what that really meant is was that we were an oil and gas company.”

[North Face said that it] “thoroughly investigates product requests to ensure they align closely with our goals and commitments surrounding sustainability and environmental protection.”

Take that you disgusting, Global Warming, despoilers of Gaia! Begone from our customer’s ranks! No more will our skiers have to be ashamed at wearing the same clothes as some deplorable oil driller. Virtue and purity hath returned to our world.

Unfortunately for North Face their management turned out to be pretty ignorant about their own products and it didn’t take long for somebody in the fossil fuel industry to strike back – but in an unexpected way:

The Colorado Oil and Gas Association has bestowed its first-ever “Extraordinary Customer Award” on The North Face, saying it appreciates the company for its abundant use of oil and gas.

“To have such a large percent of what they make, probably three-quarters of the mass they ship is actually our product. So, it’s hard to top the all-in nature of The North Face as a consumer of our product,” said Chris Wright, CEO of Liberty Oilfield Services.

Fantastic stuff and now a US state government, Louisiana, has made it official with a resolution passed last week, that recognized The North Face as an “extraordinary customer” of “the Louisiana oil and gas petrochemical industries.”

The resolution highlights the “symbiotic relationship between the Louisiana oil and gas and petrochemical industry and The North Face,” commending the clothing company for “utilizing vital oil and gas resources so important to our state.”

“The North Face continues to offer a comprehensive collection of high-performance outerwear, skiwear, backpacks, duffels, and footwear made with nylon, polyester, and polyurethane, all of which come from petroleum products,” the resolution reads.

Congratulations to The North Face for these well-deserved awards.

In fact I’m so pleased about this that I think I shall go and buy a new ski jacket, and while looking at the products in the store I shall certainly offer voluble and effusive commentary in commending them on their wonderfully high use of fossil fuels.

I’m sure their sales people and customers will also be pleased with my visit.

Written by Tom Hunter

May 14, 2021 at 11:05 am

We shall defend our Island…

Not a headline I expected to see in the early 21st century.

Apparently it’s something to do with fishing vessels

A Franco-British feud over access to prime fishing waters escalated on Thursday as the two countries deployed patrol and navy ships near the Channel island of Jersey.

Access to Britain’s rich fishing waters was a major sticking point in post-Brexit talks. A transition period was agreed in which EU fishermen would give up 25 percent of their current quotas — the equivalent of 650 million euros per year — in 2026. The deal would then be renegotiated every year.

Until then, EU vessels have access to an area between six to 12 nautical miles from Britain’s coast, but they have to ask for new licenses.

This is where things got complicated.

The French side says London acted outside of the deal by tightening conditions for access to UK waters

Basically a repeat of the Great Cod War of the mid-1970’s then. Not until reading that Wiki did I realise that there had been similar stoushes in the early 1970’s and 1958-1961.

It seems the French are already turning to the comfort of land warfare, where they have a history of far more success against the British than at sea:

“We’re ready to resort to retaliatory measures” that are in the Brexit accord, Girardin told lawmakers in the National Assembly on Tuesday.

“Concerning Jersey, I’ll remind you of the transport of electricity via submarine cables,” she added. “I would regret it if we have to do it, but we’ll do it if we have to.”

Anyway, I don’t think we should treat this as entirely funny because, as the great Edmund Blackadder once said:

Doesn’t anyone know? We hate the French! We fight wars against them!

Did all those men die in vain on the field at Agincourt?

Was the man who burned Joan of Arc simply wasting good matches?

Written by Tom Hunter

May 10, 2021 at 5:32 pm

A visit to the Shire

Why any President would want to pay a visit to a man who had one of the most failed Presidencies ever is a question in itself.

It’s not like Jimmy Carter did much in foreign or domestic policy that is remembered with respect. Whether policy or executive decisions most of what he did either did not work (energy policies for example) or was counter-productive (Iran). About the only thing I can think of that Carter got right was cranking up the development and production of new weapon systems after the USSR invaded Afghanistan in 1979, something that his successor got the blame/praise for.

Moreover, within the Democrat Party itself he never built any sort of group that had influence down the line, as the Clinton’s did. He was dropped like a hot stone after the disastrous 1980 election that set the scene for the age of Reagan in that decade. Carter got the blame for allowing that to happen and was not seen during the presidential run of his VP, Mondale, in 1984, or later Democrat contenders like Dukakis, Clinton and so forth.

But Biden is part of that ancient history, so perhaps it was simply the nostalgia of an old man. However, the way it was played by his spin merchants is…. weird to say the least.

WTF is that? It’s like Gandalf visiting the hobbits. It’s possibly the most insane photo of a Presidential couple that I’ve ever seen. Even if it’s a trick of the lens, why the hell would you not photoshop it a bit to make it look more normal?

Perhaps it’s symbolic: My Presidency will be like Jimmy’s – only bigger!

Speaking of symbolism you’ll notice that Biden is not wearing a mask while he visits this old, frail couple, unlike his infamous Zoom meeting with other world leaders a few weeks ago. However, when it came time to leave…

Symbolism can be important, especially when it involves a national leader, but this is just stupid, especially in the wake of recent CDC recommendations regarding wearing masks, not to mention the fact that much of the American population stopped wearing masks weeks ago, especially outside.

Finally I’ll leave it with this, which I think sums the Biden’s up pretty well.

Written by Tom Hunter

May 7, 2021 at 9:39 am